Fate?
by YouAndIAreForever
Summary: Does fate work in mysterious ways to bring Blake Lively and Penn Badgley back together? Set 2013-2014. Little, if any AU content.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so this is my first ever fic and I don't really know what I'm doing. I've been thinking about writing for so long, but have never gone for it. But now I have and I've actually got the next chapter done too, so I hope you guys like this one, if so I'll do my best to continue writing. I have an idea as to where this is going so we'll wait and see! But for now hope you like it! If you have any comments please review!**

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_**Beginning of the story is set in September 2013. Everything that has happened in real life has happened here. But Penn and Zoe broke up around 2 months ago in this story.**_

**Chapter 1.**

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Blake unlocked the door and stepped into the light hallway in front of her. She started moving towards the spacious office space to her right, once she was inside she sat at the desk and stared at the white laptop; almost as though she was waiting for it to open itself. She lifted the lid and went straight to the internet, she needed to do some research for a part she was auditioning for, it wasn't the lead role but something about it made her excited so she wanted to make sure she'd given the audition her all.

After about an hour's worth of scribbling down what seemed to be useless information onto a lined pad of paper she decided she'd do the rest of her research the next day. Blake clasped the top of the laptop frame as she was about to pull it shut, when she realised she had nothing else to do once the laptop was off, so she pushed it back to its normal height as she stared back at the blank screen, wondering what she could do. Blake was never normally this bored, she normally had a busy schedule and rarely had time for her much loved computer, but since her husband was away she didn't have much to do these days. After a few minutes of fighting it she decided to resume to the web and clicked onto the 'US' magazine, she didn't tend to allow herself to circum to its temptation, but she was bored and secretly she loved to know what was going on in 'Hollywood' although she always refrained from calling it that. Blake had been scrolling through the magazine for a few minutes, drifting through pointless articles until her eyes gawked open. She unconsciously leaned further towards the screen as she couldn't believe what she was seeing, without control her eyelids began to blink furiously fighting back tears that were trying to make their way down her face. She refused to believe her eyes, but it was a pretty well respected magazine and rarely published stories without hard evidence. She put her long, delicate hand towards her right eye and lightly brushed away the tears. She slowly and cautiously continued to scroll down the heartbreaking article, scared as to what she might read. She read every word carefully to ensure she'd consume as much knowledge as humanly possible; her eyes darted from left to right as she read until they stopped on a particular line, it took her aback and she couldn't believe what she was reading, she refused to believe it. 'Sources close to Penn report: It's 50/50 whether he makes it or not.'

She couldn't believe she hadn't heard the news sooner, that someone hadn't let her know. Why hadn't Lynne called? She thought to herself, remembering how close she used to be to her ex's mom. But slowly the blonde realised that she wasn't living a 2009 world anymore, she wasn't the most important person in his life, hell she was probably one of the least important at the rate she'd been going. Sure they got along on set, but they made little effort to talk outside of shooting days. It seemed weird that someone who was once so important to you and someone you spent every single day with, suddenly was out of your life forever; this was the reality she had been faced with over the past few months and it still hadn't quite settled in.

Blake snapped out of her reminiscent thoughts and grabbed her phone that was sat next to her, as her fingers skimmed through all her contacts she reached a name she hadn't dialled in a long time...too long. She tapped on the screen as it began to dial.

"Hello, Lynne?" Blake was worried, not only that Lynne wouldn't even recognise her voice, but more concerned about what she was about to find out.

"That's not Blake is it?" Lynne asked on the other end of the line.

"Yes...Hi, I would say 'how are you?' but I'm not sure that's suitable...how is he?" Thoughts swam around her mind like a terrifying nightmare as she awaited a response she felt she knew was coming, but Blake tried to keep positive through hearing faint sniffs on the other end of the phone.

"Honestly, it doesn't look good Blake", Lynne couldn't take anymore and starting crying heavily on the other end of the phone, Blake could feel herself starting to choke up at the sound of Lynne's sobs. But as Blake began to tear up herself; she felt as though somehow she shouldn't be worried or upset, like she didn't deserve to be. Lynne interrupted her thoughts when she began to tell Blake the whole story.

After a considerable amount of crying later, more on Lynne's half than Blake's; Blake had heard everything and it was not pretty. The blonde finally managed to conger up the courage to ask the question that had been spiralling around her mind for a while now, and she was honestly scared of the answer.

"Can I see him?" Blake didn't care about the repercussions this might have on her marriage, hell she wasn't even planning on telling Ryan she'd gone to see her ex.

Lynne spoke softly and said "Of course you can, I know we've lost touch over the past few years, but it would mean a lot if you came to see him."

And with that Blake quickly responded with a "When can I be there?"

"3:00 too soon?"

And with that Blake was off, she grabbed her keys and within seconds was already at the door, admittedly she hadn't really thought about what she was doing or what she was going to say...to him or her husband; but she didn't care, she had to go and nothing was going to stop her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2.**

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When Blake arrived at the hospital she ignored all the thoughts that ran rampid around her mind. She looked around the front reception for Lynne but couldn't see her. Blake was confused that she wasn't there to greet her, but mid thought she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. When she picked it out it read 'I had to get home. Got some work to do. Text me when you have left so I can go back to the hospital. Let me know if there are any problems. Hope to see you soon, Blake. Thanks, Lynne' after reading the text she decided she would reply later and she briskly made her way to the front desk where she approached a brunette, probably in her mid 50s who was wearing far too much make-up for someone her age.

Regardless, Blake opened her mouth and voiced 'Hi. I'm here to see Penn Badgley. Can you tell me which room he's in please?'

The woman looked at her with squinted eyes and without hesitation replied 'Are you related to Mr. Badgley?' Blake paused as she thought about her actions, for a second she was tempted to lie and pretend she was his sister or something. But honestly they didn't look much alike, having said that she could pull it off, I mean she was an actress! She was sure she could fool the brunette, who clearly hadn't heard of either of them; however she decided to remain on the right side of the law and told the woman she was just 'an old friend', boy was that putting it mildly!

The brunette glanced back up at the beautiful blonde and replied 'Nice one, sweetie. But you don't fool me. Please leave before I notify security'. Blake was taken aback by this woman's pure rudeness, Blake hadn't even pretended she was a relative and she was certainly honest, if not making herself out to know Penn less than she did. Blake was so infuriated by the woman's comment she was tempted to slam her hands down on the desk and tell her how she'd known him since she was only 11 years old but she decided to refrain from her actions, which was probably a good idea.

As Blake began to make her way towards the exit, secretly fuming she wasn't allowed to see him; she felt a gentle tap on her shoulder, she turned and saw a much younger female (who was actually a doctor, not some foul receptionist), a little older than herself who spoke softly and said 'Come with me.'

Blake didn't hesitate to argue and followed the woman down a corridor and into an elevator. Once the doors had closed the doctor began to speak; 'Unlike the woman at reception, I do read gossip magazines and are aware of your history with Mr. Badgley. I hope you understand, the relative question is just protocol' Blake nodded as she softly smiled at the doctor, thankful she had granted her a chance to see Penn, although she was still unsure what to say or do, she just knew she'd regret it if she didn't go to see him.

Once the two approached the door the doctor turned to Blake and asked 'Has anyone briefed you on his condition?' Blake gulped as she prepared for the response, she shaked her head and the doctor began to speak in a slow monotone, which was probably routine when telling someone bad news. After hearing what the doctor had to say she felt a little better, his situation was certainly more positive than the way the article she had read had put it and she was glad to know he had a good chance from waking up from his unconscious state, even though the car accident had left him in pretty bad shape.

Blake grabbed the doorknob in her right hand and began to turn it, but the doctor interrupted her and whispered 'And one last thing; he can hear you so make sure to keep it positive and try and hold it together when you're in there'. Blake simply nodded as she continued to turn the doorknob round and pushed the door open. Blake stood there. Still. As though her whole body had been frozen and her feet were glued to the floor. The doctor had left and it was just her left alone in his room. She stood and stared at him as her eyes began to fill up with water droplets which quickly blurred her vision, but Blake furiously blinked away the tears that battled to fall. She made her way towards his bed and slowly and carefully sat on the chair next to him. She just looked at him. Did nothing else, she didn't move she didn't think, she just stared at his face as her brain tried to familiarise herself with the situation she was in. After a few minutes of stillness she looked down at her hands which were clasped together tightly on her lap, if she had been here 5 years ago she would be tightly gripping her hands around his as tears streamed down her face, burying her face in his hand. But it wasn't 2008. Times had changed and she was no longer his, she belonged to someone else now and she really needed to get used to it.

She had decided holding his hand wasn't appropriate, despite the fact he'd probably be unaware of her actions anyway. Blake scanned her eyes over his body as she saw one of his legs held in place by a metal grip and one of his arms wrapped in a cast. As she reached the end of her tour of his broken body her eyes met his face again and without warning she began to speak.

'I know what you're thinking. What am I doing here, right? I...I don't know either...But I do know I needed to see you, I needed to be here and make sure you're okay.' Blake shook her head as she wondered whether she should go on or just run out the door and never look back. 'I...I hate what's happened to us, Penn. We promised we'd stay friends and we promised we'd keep in touch...and we didn't. And what makes it worse is that I know it's my fault. I know I've changed because you don't act the same way around me as you did...Or maybe that's just because _we've_ changed, you know? We're not the same people, of course we're not. Being together changed us, it changed who we were together. We can't be who we were in 2007 because that was before anything happened. But now, things are different and we can't go back to that, I know we can't. But I wish things were different. No I'm not saying I wish we were still together because I know we can't be.' Those words broke her a little inside as she sniffed away more tears that threatened to fall, she knew she was treading on dangerous ground but she couldn't help herself but go on.

'We don't want the same things. We can't be happy together because one of us will always be resentful of the other for taking away what they always wanted...or didn't want. You wanted to be young forever and be able to do whatever we wanted...you wanted to see the world together and not worry about a future but just live in the moment. And I loved that about us...I did. But...I...I can't do that, Penn. Hell why am I even saying this? I'm married, it's not like we're getting back together.'

Blake stopped in her tracks and realised despite Penn being unconscious if the doctors were right, he could hear what she was saying and she wasn't sure she wanted him to. Maybe she was talking to herself more than anything else, but she knew she needed to get it out somehow or another.

'You want a life of fun and I...I don't...I mean I didn't want that. I have what I wanted now.' It scared her. _She had what she wanted_. She'd had it for a while now. Everything was falling into place...she was married and she knew it wouldn't be long before she would have a family too. Everything was as she had always dreamed it being. Then why wasn't she happy? Why did she find herself nostalgic for her former life? Why was she even here? Why wasn't she enjoying her new, happy and successful life with her brilliant husband? Why was she in a cold hospital room staring at her ex, wondering if she'd be happier if they were still together? She had everything she ever wanted...but somehow, deep down she felt like the person lying opposite her was what was missing.

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**A/N: I hope this chapter is better than the first one, I think I prefer it anyway. Writing chapter 3 as we speak. Thank you all for your amazing reviews, please let me know what you thought of this one. Oh and also, my main aim with this story is to keep it as realistic as possible. The thing I love about a lot of fanfics is if I believe it could happen. If this story begins to become unrealistic, please let me know! P.S. I know this chapter may be a little unrealistic, but it'll be resolved (hopefully) in the next chapter. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3.**

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Her thoughts were disrupted by sirens screaming outside the hospital. Blake was so distracted by her thoughts, the abrupt noises from outside made her jump in her seat. She looked back at him, the sight scared her. Her body started to tremble at that one thought that refused to stop spiralling around her mind like a deathly whirlpool: 'maybe he was what was missing'. It continued to echo around her subconscious for what felt like hours.

As she began to gaze wearily around the brightly lit room she began to feel lost and confused. Maybe people were right 'you don't know what you had until it's gone'. Or maybe she was just over thinking things. Honestly, she had no idea and it worried her a bit. She decided she'd been sitting in silence for a bit too long, she told herself to either continue with her hopeless speech or to just get up and leave. After a short amount of deliberation, Blake lifted herself out of the uncomfortable metal chair and rose above his injured body. She looked at him, eyes beginning to water at the picture that lay before her. She slowly opened her mouth and spoke "Goodbye, Penn". She turned and rushed to the door, she wanted to be out of there as soon as possible, being there caused an aching in her that she knew she needed to get away from. But however desperately she wanted to get out of the room; she was stopped in her tracks. Every fragment of her being forced her to turn around and take one final look. One final goodbye. She slowly turned her body around and paused her movements as her eyes met his shut ones. One single tear drop fell. She caught it in her hand as she brushed it away, and with that she closed the door behind her.

Blake was slumped on the coach, staring at the floor. She felt numb, she had no idea what was happening to her but she knew she couldn't stay like this, so she got up and decided to call her husband. Blake picked up the phone from the kitchen counter and began to dial. "Blake! I'm so glad to hear from you, I've missed you."

Blake looked down as a small smile crept across her lips, "me too."

"So, how are you, how's everything?" Ryan asked inquisitively.

"Fine. Absolutely fine" Blake lied and changed the subject."'When are you coming home?"

"Tomorrow, I hope. As long as the planes aren't cancelled, there's a huge storm across the West Coast."

"Oh..." Blake was desperate to see him, oddly not because she was _desperate to see him, _but because she was desperate to eradicate the deep aching that had taken over her since she saw his broken body. She hoped her husband had the power to clear the pain.

The next day Blake woke in her warm bed, the white sheets wrapped around her body. She smiled and stretched out her arms. Today's a new day, she thought to herself. Although she was still worried about him, she felt like the huge weight that had landed upon her yesterday, had lifted. She was no longer searching for answers and worrying that she still felt something for him. She loved Ryan and she was happy and that was all that mattered to her, she smiled at thought as she clambered out of bed.

After having got herself ready for the day she swung her long body onto the cream couch in the living room, she grabbed at the remote which had lost itself between the dips in the sofa. She was about to hit the big red 'On' button at the top of the remote when she felt a vibration in her back pocket. She pulled out her phone and clicked at the screen so she could read the text. It was from Lynne. Blake quickly realised she'd forgotten to text her after getting back from the hospital and guilt quickly erupted inside of her.

'Hi Blake, just wanted to make sure everything was okay, since I'm guessing you just forgot to text me when you got back? Speak soon, Lynne'. Blake's fingers tapped away as she attempted to form an excuse as to why she didn't reply to Lynne's earlier text.

Within minutes she got a reply 'No worries, Blake. I'm glad you went to see him. I'm on my way over there now, let me know if you want to come and visit again, or we could just go out for a coffee?' Lynne was always so kind and Blake wondered how they ever lost touch...oh right, that's why.

'I'd love to meet for coffee. Tomorrow, 10:00?'

It was getting late and Blake wondered if Ryan would be returning today or not, so she picked up her phone and dialled again for the 3rd time that day. The other 3 times she'd rang it had gone to voicemail. The phone rang for a while and Blake was about to hang up when she heard a dreary voice on the other end. "Blake?"

"Hi! Oh I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"Yeah..."

"I just wondered if you knew when you'd be back? You said you'd be back today..." Blake was a little upset he wasn't home yet; he'd been away for 4 days now and she was beginning to miss him.

"Yeah, well my plane was cancelled so I'm coming back...err...tomorrow night I think." Ryan yawned wearily; it was 2 am after all.

"Okay, well let me know if your plans change this time, won't you?" Ryan nodded, "Uh huh", which was quickly followed by a long beep on Blake's end. I guess he hung up then, she thought to herself, not even a goodbye or an 'I love you'. Sometimes Ryan really was clueless about her feelings, and that annoyed her more often than she'd like to admit.

The sun was shining and the autumn leaves were being scattered about by the gentle wind outside the coffee shop window. Blake looked at her watch, Lynne was late. She was never late. A waitress came over to Blake's table and asked her if she wanted anything. Blake simply shook her head and responded "I'm waiting for someone else to arrive."

The waitress simply nodded and danced off into the background. Blake resumed her watch on the beautiful autumn glow of the outdoors, but soon it was interrupted by the sight of Lynne briskly walking to the door of the shop.

"Blake! I'm sorry I'm late!" Blake quickly got up from her chair and wrapped her arms around Lynne. It had been so long since she'd seen her, and there was a nice feeling of familiarity in the air; something Blake really loved.

"Oh god, it's fine, Lynne!" Blake spoke. Lynne detached herself from Blake's embrace and looked at her. Blake smiled slyly and put on a quizzical look, unsure why Lynne had suddenly turned all serious.

"It's really...really great to see you, Blake". A huge beam formed across Blake's face and she signalled for Lynne to take a seat.

They both sat and talked for quite some time, it was nice to catch up and Blake had really missed Lynne's happy personality. They had always got on well, and Blake promised herself to make more of an effort to stay in touch from then on.

Lynne looked at Blake sincerely and said "Look, I know going to see Penn can't have been easy, but I'm very grateful you did, Blake. I don't know if he knows you were there, but it really, really does mean a lot to me. You were very special to him once, you know." Blake smiled softly and looked down, Lynne's words had broken her a little and the feeling of nostalgia started to creep back inside her, something she really hoped she'd got rid of.

"Well I'm glad I could've been there." Blake paused, unsure what else to say. "How's he doing?"

"Very much the same, stable." Lynne looked down at the table, and Blake knew this whole situation must be so hard for her; she was so close to her son.

An idea, albeit maybe a stupid one popped up in Blake's mind, and without any thought Blake uttered "Why don't I give you a break? I'll go down there this afternoon and keep him company." Lynne's face speedily jumped from staring at the wooden table and looked at Blake with beady eyes.

"You know what, that would be incredible, Blake. I mean, that is if you're okay with that?"

"Of course! You need some time out, Lynne. Try and relax this afternoon. I'll go over there now, shall I?" Blake had already began to pick up her things even though she wasn't really sure if this was the best idea, but she knew it was a selfless move and that was all that mattered at that moment. Lynne had done so much for her, not just while she was dating Penn but even when she was a kid. She owed her at least a break.

"No, nonsense." Lynne replied, "Why don't you come over after you've had your lunch?"

Blake arrived at the hospital for the second time and as she scanned the entrance, she saw the kind doctor who'd taken her to Penn's room a few days ago. Blake briskly walked up to her and asked to see him. The doctor led her to his room, exactly as she had done before.

But this time when they approached his door she spoke, "Lynne told me earlier today you'd be coming and she asked me to give you this." The doctor handed her a key card, presumably to get into Penn's room. "So you can come anytime you like and you don't have to get someone to swipe you in."

The doctor smiled at Blake and the blonde repeated the gesture and took the card from woman's hand. "Thanks".

Blake opened the door, and once again her heart broke at the sight in front of her beautiful blue eyes, she knew that would be her reaction every time she walked in, no matter how used to the situation she would get, she knew she'd break inside. She fell into the same chair again and whispered a soft "Hi..."

She wasn't sure what to say, the last time she was here she just completely broke down and started rambling about things that were hardly relevant, maybe this time she should try and be a little more 'upbeat' like the doctor told her. "Do you remember the time when I pulled that huge prank on you, pretending you were adopted?"

Blake chuckled to herself quietly at the memory. Some might have thought it was quite harsh, but she remembered Penn thought it was hilarious and they would always laugh about it together. She looked back up and Penn "You know what, who says we can't be friends after all this? I mean I think it'd be really great if we could try, besides, we had a lot of fun together, didn't we?" Somehow she felt as though she was waiting for a reply even though she knew she wasn't going to get one.

Blake was tired after her long day at the hospital and was glad to be back home; she snuggled up to a blanket on the couch and switched on the TV. She'd put one of her favourite movies into the drive, The Notebook, it was almost routine to watch when she was home alone. The film always had her grabbing for the tissues and it always reminded her what true love was supposed to be like, she'd always hoped for a love like Noah and Allie's. Blake's thoughts were interrupted by a ringing coming from the kitchen. She wrestled the blanket so she could get off the couch and raced to the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, sweetie."

"Hey! I'm glad you called. I can't wait to see you tomorrow, I've had such a rough week..?" Blake glanced over the front door, and imagined seeing him there waiting with open arms. The thought caused a soft smile to creep across her face.

"Umm..yeah, I have some bad news...turns out there's a great soccer game on Friday night, and this guy Adam got me tickets, so...I'm gonna go. I'm sorry, babe but I'll be home in 3 days." Blake couldn't believe it, how could he be so rude and ignorant of her feelings. Here she was telling him how much she missed him and he just told her he'd be away for another 3 days, and neglected to ask her if she was okay with it. Her hopeful grin had faded into a sad sulk.

"Sure...whatever" She couldn't be bothered to argue or start a fight; she was tired and really didn't feel like talking to him since she was so mad.

"Look, babe, I'm sorry okay. But this is gonna be such a great match the Mets are playing again-"

Blake was getting more and more furious by the minute, "I don't care!" she shouted, and with that she pulled the phone away from her ear and hung up.

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**A/N:** **Although I haven't started Chapter 4 I know where I'm going with it and am going to start writing it today. If you're lucky, it'll be up tommorow. Please remember to tell me if you think it's becoming unrealistic. It's hard for me to be objective, so you guys are in charge of warning me! ;) I know, in an ideal world Blake wouldn't care Ryan was gone and wouldn't miss him and would realise she still loved Penn etc, but as I said I really want this to be realistic..hopefully it'll pay off.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4.**

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Blake arrived at the hospital at 10 am on Thursday morning; she had agreed to help Lynne by coming to visit Penn on a daily basis. Lynne had spending all her days at the hospital and Blake knew she needed a break, and since Blake had a lot of time on her hands, what with Ryan being away she was more than happy to help. She knew Ryan would be mad to know she'd been spending all her days caring for her ex in hospital, but honestly Blake couldn't care less, especially since Ryan had been so ignorant of _her_ feelings lately.

This time when she walked into his room, Blake smiled a little. Not because she was glad to see him like that, but because she had this weird feeling he'd be waking up in the next few days and even though she knew once that happened her role in his life would probably become non-existent again she would be so happy and relieved that he was okay.

This time, instead of sitting down in the chair next to him, Blake glided towards the window and stared out into the outside world. The sun was shining and the birds were chirping; which was unusual since it was almost October and most New York days would be filled with rain and dark clouds.

"Nice day today, Penn". It was strange talking to someone who was in a coma, they couldn't respond, but you talked to them anyway, to keep them company, to relax them.

Blake turned her head and looked over at her bag that she had lumped on the floor next to the bed. She pulled out her iPod and headphones and sat on the chair next to Penn.

"You wanna know a secret?" She whispered, getting a little too close to his face.

"Apparently it's good to play people music when they're, you know...in situations like yours". Blake's subtle smirk had turned a little lopsided by the end of her sentence, but she shook it off and continued with her plan.

"So...I brought you something!" She said excitedly, and beamed as she looked up at him, knowing he'd be excited too if he knew what was going on. Blake gently placed each headphone in his ears and grabbed the iPod from his lap. She scrolled through the list of music, till she reached the playlist she'd set up the day before: 'For Penn'.

Before she started the first song she turned the music down so it wouldn't be too loud, she didn't like the idea of blasting music in his ears, she didn't think it could have a very good effect on someone in a coma. After altering the sound level she tapped play to the first song on the playlist 'How Does It Feel'. Even though the song was playing pretty quietly she could hear the slow beats of the song and she hummed to the music. When Blake began to sing along, it surprised her when she remembered all the words. "If you want me to baby, only if you want me to"...

"_Hey! I'm home!" Blake waltzed into the lounge and found Penn lying on the sofa listening to some of his favourite music as it echoed around the spacious room. _

"_Hey!" Penn grinned, smiling up at his girlfriend. "You're back!" She beamed as she walked over to the sofa and perched on the foot stall facing Penn. _

"_If you didn't have your music on so loud you would've heard me tell you that!" Blake cheekily giggled at him and he just smirked in return. _

"_So how was your day?" Blake smiled over at him, just looking at him made her feel so happy. _

"_Good, but I missed you" Penn grabbed her hands and kissed them repeatedly. Why was he so sweet? She asked herself. _

"_I missed you too." _

"_One question though." Blake gazed at him inquisitively. "What the hell are you doing all the way over there?" _

_He gripped at her waist and pulled her towards him so she was lying on his side. Blake giggled as she snuggled into his side putting her head on his chest. After a few minutes of silence they both began to sing a-long, Blake was a terrible singer but Penn didn't care. In fact he loved her voice, they always had so much fun laughing, and singing together._

"_How does it feeeeeeel?" they both shouted simultaneously. _

"_How does it feeeeellll?" they repeated. When the song ended they just looked into each other's eyes and smiled at each other like two idiots in love._

At the end of the 4th song Blake gently tugged the headphones out of his ears and put her IPod back in her bag. Slowly she gazed back up at him, she knew he couldn't respond to anything around him but she really, really wished maybe he could just do something to show he heard. Without warning she glided her hand over his and locked their fingers together.

"Hey. If you can hear me just move one of your fingers, okay?" She glanced back up at his face as her eyes explored it, hopeful she would feel movement in her hands.

"Please, Penn. Just show me you know I'm here, okay?" Her voice became a little wobbly at the end, with a slight sound of desperation in her voice. She continued looking at him for what felt like the longest minute of her life, but when she realised he wasn't going to move she released her hands from his as a tiny tear drop fell. "Never mind" she smiled sadly, trying to forget it had ever happened.

Blake continued to visit Penn on a daily basis throughout the week; she'd even bought him a card for when he woke up.

Once she returned home after a long day at the hospital she collapsed onto the couch, it had been such a draining week and she was getting so tired. Blake decided to make herself some coffee to stay awake, it was only 6:30 and she didn't exactly want to take a nap that late in the day. A few hours later she heard a key in the door, she jumped at the noise and turned to face the door putting her coffee down on the table next to her. A few seconds later the door swung open and there stood her husband. She got out from her seat and ran over to hug him, but when she did it scared her slightly when she didn't feel anything.

"I missed you, babe!" Ryan spoke, still hugging her tightly. Blake smiled a half hearted smile.

"Me too." She spoke softly, why did she feel like she was lying?

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**A/N: I'm in such a rush right now, you have no idea. So that's probs why the last few paragraphs SUCK because I've rushed it so much, it needed to be up today, really and so that's why it's kinda short. It might've been longer but I didn't have time. Okay, hope you like it! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5.**

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Ryan and Blake sat on the couch with a glass of red wine in each hand. Although there was the occasional conversation, ever since Ryan had got back the majority of the evening had been spent in silence. Blake would stare blankly into space a lot and she always looked deep in thought when Ryan's eyes darted over to her.

"So...your week! You haven't told me about your week, Blake." All Blake could hear was a fuzzy blurring noise in her ears, almost as though she had been drugged, everything echoed and his words were strangely distorted. It took her a while before she opened her lips and uttered a hushed response.

"Umm...yeah, good. Good..." Blake trailed off, not really sure what to say. Ryan's eyes squinted together, he knew she was lying and he didn't like that. He had no respect for when his wife lied to him.

"I'll ask again, and how about you answer honestly this time!" Ryan snapped. Ryan had always had a short temper and it really angered Blake. It didn't take long for Blake to respond this time, fury erupting inside her, she hated when he raised his voice at her.

"There's no need to shout! God Ryan, why do you always have to get so god damn angry?"

"Maybe because I don't like it when my wife lies to me, you don't think I can't tell when you're lying?! What happened this week, Blake?" Blake's face settled slightly from the raised eyebrows and her piercing blue eyes returned to their natural size. She looked at her hands as they played together on her lap. She'd been debating telling Ryan all week but she knew it would be a bad idea.

"I uhh...I just...missed you, that's all" Blake looked up and sent a soft smile in Ryan's direction.

Ryan grinned and grabbed Blake's hand and rubbed his thumb over her fingers.

The next morning Blake woke to a repetitive beeping from her bedside table, her alarm. She swung her arm over her body and smashed her index finger onto the top of the machine. She rubbed her eyes and turned back over to face Ryan's side of the bed, she expected to see him lying there but instead there was a small note placed on the pillow. 'Gone for a run, be back around 11. Ryan'.' She was really starting to get fed up with his ignorant attitude. Blake's alarm had done a good job at waking her up so she decided to get out of bed and go and watch some TV with her breakfast.

Blake sat comfortably on the couch in her night gown and slippers with her feet resting on the foot stall. She switched on the TV, and waited patiently as it stirred up a picture. But before she had time to change the channel; there he was. His face plastered across her TV screen. She stared in awe, her thoughts totally captured by him. Everything around her became blurred and all she could see was his perfect face.

He was talking but she couldn't hear a word, all she could hear were memories of his words that whirled around her mind while her eyes were focused on him, only him. "We are very much in love". "I'm doing it all for her". "We have something that was worth the risk and have such a great trust and passion for each other". "We can make it work". Reminiscent thoughts wrapped around her tightly, never wanting to let go; they suffocated her and she felt like she couldn't breathe. She started trembling at the thought of him in the hospital, lying there, unconscious; unaware that she was slowly, but surely, falling uncontrollably in love with him. All over again. Everything came back to her in the blink of an eye, the way he kissed her, the way he smelt, the way he laughed, the way his heart would beat when she laid on his chest. She missed him, she missed him more than she thought was humanly possible and she never thought she could feel this way ever again.

She was mad at herself and she didn't know what to do, but all she knew was that there was nothing she could do. She was in love with him. She couldn't stop it, she couldn't prevent it, she couldn't restrain it. That was it and she felt like her world was slowly falling apart at the thought that they couldn't have their forever. They couldn't be together, not now, not then, not ever. Blake felt like she could collapse as pain came rushing back to her like a bolt of electricity. All that emotion from a one second flash of his face, that's all it took for her to fall in love with him again. And that was a hell of a scary thought.

Before she had time to remove herself from her haunting reflections she heard a key in the door, she jumped at the sound and lashed at the remote as she hurriedly switched off the TV, halting Penn's soft voice from echoing throughout the house. Blake darted her damp eyes in the direction of the door. Ryan's hair was messy and his blue shirt had sweat patches all over it, it wasn't the most attractive sight she had to admit. He made his way towards her and slumped down next to her on the couch.

"Hey, babe." Ryan leaned forward and placed his lips on hers as droplets of sweat dripped from his hair to her lap. She flinched at the sight and leaned back slightly, moving away from his overwhelming scent.

As Ryan got up to leave Blake's phone bleeped at the notification of a new text. She reached for her phone and pulled it towards her, the message was from Lynne. Ryan stopped in his tracks and glanced over at Blake's phone. She quickly clicked it shut before Ryan had a chance to see who it was from.

"Who was that?" Ryan always wanted to know what she was up to.

"Errr just Kate."

"Oh right." Ryan continued walking towards the stairs and went up to have a shower. Blake sighed with relief; if he'd seen who the text was from she would've been in big trouble. Blake quickly scanned the message from Lynne as she contemplated what to reply. 'Hey, Blake. I just wanted to tell you how much it means that you've been coming the last few days. Back again today?' Blake knew she couldn't see Penn now that Ryan was back; not even contemplating her earlier revelation. She tapped away a decent excuse for why she couldn't go and set her phone down next to her.

Blake and Ryan were sat at the dining room table, quietly munching away at the sushi Ryan had bought for their dinner.

"So I had an idea..." Ryan perked up while keeping his eyes on his food.

"Mmm" Blake murmured, disinterested.

"I was thinking...tomorrow night, we should go out, somewhere nice. What do you say?" Blake looked despondent as she stared at her sushi. She was getting a little concerned with how she had become so uninterested in Ryan and how all her thoughts were consumed with thoughts of Penn.

"Yeah...yeah sounds good." Blake didn't even bother to look at Ryan as she continued to eat her food. Ryan looked over at her and could tell something was going on.

"Okay look. You've been acting weird ever since I got home, what's going on, Blake?" Blake wasn't really sure what to say. But she knew she'd have to do something about her sudden feelings for Penn before too long, or Ryan would eventually find out. Blake stirred her fork around the food, but didn't pick anything up.

"I uhhh..." She looked up at Ryan, realising it would be more convincing if she was looking at him when she told him.

"I dunno, I just don't feel like myself lately...I don't know why." She glanced back down at her plate. It wasn't a total lie, she certainly hadn't felt this way about Penn for a while; but she also secretly felt like maybe she'd never stopped loving him and that her feelings had just been buried under the surface. Ryan reached for her hand and softly ran his thumb over the palm of her hand. She smiled softly at him, thankful he was understanding and not throwing some sort of angry fit as he normally would.

"I'm sorry." She sighed.

"Hey. Don't be, we all go through things like that from time to time, I'm sure it's nothing. But I do think this night out would be good for us, Blake. I feel like we've become a bit distant lately..." Blake suddenly felt a pang of guilt and realised she really needed to make an effort to be happy with Ryan. Her and Penn were over and she needed to banish these feelings as quickly as possible so she could live a blissful life with Ryan. She pulled her hand away from his touch and placed it on his cheek.

"We have. But let's do something about that, shall we? A night out sounds incredible". She said as she pulled his face towards hers and kissed him. Ryan beamed at her, glad she seemed to be more like the Blake he knew. Blake gazed into his eyes and desperately searched for that feeling of 'forever'; she shrugged it off when she couldn't feel it. Ryan was her husband, her future, her life. Penn was her past. It was as simple as that.

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**A/N: Okay sorry for the long wait, it's a long story...actually it's not, just a sad one. Lets just say there's been a hell lot of crying and haven't wanted to do anything, let alone write. But I managed to get this finished today, so I hope it was worth the wait. Unrealistic? Maybe a little..but it's how I want the story to go, so hopefully it's okay. P.S. For those of you who aren't crazy die hard plakers like our WHD group on tumblr haha we (tefi) found the link to the song we think their inside 'What's up D'Angelo?!' joke was about - the 'How does it feel' song is by D'Angelo including a lot of stuff about 'I want' aka "I want that." So that's why it was included in the last chapter haha :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6.**

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It was 7 in the evening and Blake was admiring her outfit in the mirror. She wore a silver dress that was cut around her thighs; it was tight and showed off her slim figure. Her hair was in waves that sprawled across her shoulders and chest. She had little make-up on, even though Ryan preferred when she went all out. She liked the simple look, nothing too extravagant.

She made her way into the living room and sat on the couch as she waited for the clock to strike 7:15. She and Ryan were meeting at the restaurant at 7:30 as he had been out with a friend all day. Blake pulled her phone out of her small purse and saw she had yet another message from Lynne. She had spent all day avoiding Lynne's texts and it had been 3 days since she last visited Penn. Ryan was more important after all; she had no future with Penn, only a past and she knew there was no point going to visit him. She wasn't even sure why she'd gone in the first place. Ryan had always told her to focus on her future and forget about her past. The year after her break-up with Penn, she'd find herself wanting to call him but Ryan would always tell her it was a bad idea. She ignored him at first and would call Penn anyway, but after a while she gave in to his persistency as Ryan was never keen on her speaking Penn. So after not much time at all, they lost touch; and only ever saw each other on set.

Blake stared blankly at the clock in front of her. She watched as the hand jumped at each beat of a new second. Her eyes lazily following it around the circular object on the wall.

The sound of a ringing tore her eyes away from the clock and dashed to the phone on her lap. Lynne's name flashed across the screen. Blake froze, she couldn't answer it. She couldn't. Not after the sudden neglecting of her son and Blake's refusal to respond to her texts. Blake pressed down onto the button on the top of her phone which effectively stopped the ringing.

Blake looked back up at the clock, somehow expecting hours to have passed. It was 7:08; she decided to leave. Ryan hated when she was late, so she thought she'd get there in good time. Blake rose from the couch, grabbed her purse and made her way towards the front door, her heels clicking in the process. The noise of her ringing phone interrupted her movements and she pulled it out of her purse, expecting it to be Ryan asking why she wasn't there yet. She tilted the screen in the direction of her face and saw Lynne was calling once again. This time she knew she had to pick up. She wouldn't have called again unless it wasn't important. Blake slid her finger across the screen, accepting the call.

She raised the phone up to her ear and spoke a soft; "Hi." A feeling of guilt consumed Blake as she realised how rude she had been over the past few days, Lynne had been nothing but good to her her whole life, and here she was ignoring her.

"We're losing him, Blake." Lynne trembled as the heartbreaking words fell from her lips. Blake's body froze in her steps and the only movement made was the quivering of her eyes as water came pouring down her face like a waterfall that soaked her cheeks in an instant. Her heart had stopped in her chest and she felt like it was about to break into a million pieces. All the bones in her body ached at the thought of never being able to see him again; never being able to see him laugh, hear his beautiful voice or to watch him from afar because she knew she could never be his agian. Blake stumbled as her feet gave way, but she managed to grab at the door handle before she could fall to her feet. The phone fell from her hand and plummeted to the ground, hitting the floor with a crash, like Lynne's words had done to Blake's heart. Before long she had pulled herself up from the ground and was racing out the door.

Blake leaped into the car and started the engine; she slammed her foot on the lever and reversed out of the drive.

Blake sped around the streets as she manically drove to the hospital. She swerved around tight bends and slid around the road as her tyres slipped in the soaking wet puddles on the ground. Giant bolts of rain plunged onto her windscreen as the wipers furiously flushed away the water, which drenched the sidewalk in the process.

Doctors ran around Penn's bed like a swarm of bees. They had to re-start his heart beat that was rapidly dropping. They slammed their electrical implements against his chest, preventing him from dying. But suddenly as if by magic, one of Penn's fingers slowly twitched and a soft cough erupted from his throat. His eyes sluggishly opened, one at a time. His sight was blurred at first but as he blinked away the distorted vision, the sight of his mom fell upon his tired eyes, mixed into the background of the doctors hovering over his body. Lynne jumped from the chair next to him and reached for his face and hugged him tightly against her body, relived he wasn't going anywhere.

A while later Blake ran through the hospital doors as fast as her legs could carry her, once she'd made it up to the 4th floor she divided at Penn's door and thrust the door open simultaneously. The door swung open at such a speed she almost collapsed on the floor.

His bed was empty. The sheet was rumpled and pushed to the side of the bed. Before Blake had time to jump to disastrous conclusions a woman appeared behind her almost as if by magic. She spoke softly, displaying a small smile that was sprawled across her lips. "He's awake." Blake lips exploded into a giant beam as she felt a tear creep down her cheek.

"He woke up about 15 minutes ago. His mom took him back to his house." Blake's heart felt giddy inside her chest as she ran from the room, past the doctor and jumped into the elevator that took her back to the ground floor.

Penn lay on the couch with his feet resting on his mom's lap as she told him what had happened.

"You know who visited you every day while you were in there?"

Penn joked; "You?"

"No" Lynne smiled slightly. "Blake."

Penn gulped as he processed her name. Blake. Blake had been to visit him every day? Lynne looked at Penn softly as she waited for him to respond. She knew he'd be shocked but it took him longer than she expected to reply.

"Blake?" Penn spoke, a touch of sadness in his tone.

"She came every day. She even sat with you for hours while I was at work. She brought you a card as well. It was incredible, Penn. She really is one hell of a girl." Lynne had always loved Blake and was secretly devastated when they broke up; she saw how happy Blake made him. Penn was speechless. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. He stared into space, not knowing what to think.

"I'll go get the card." Lynne got up from her seat and gently placed his bruised legs back onto the couch. Although one had been broken in the accident, it had now almost completely healed; but he still needed to walk on crutches.

Within moments Lynne was back and she handed the card to Penn.

"I'll give you a minute" she spoke and walked back up the stairs to leave Penn alone with his thoughts.

_'Dear Penn. If you're reading this, I'm guessing that means you're awake. And that means I'm happy. I'm so happy, Penn. It's hard to find the right words, you know? I say too much and you get the wrong idea, I say too little and it seems like I don't care. But I do. I care. I care a lot. I might not show it, but I do. I'm happy for you, Penn. Have an incredible life. Blake.'_

Blake's words had taken Penn aback. She cared. He really thought she didn't anymore, but she did. And it meant the world to him.

A few miles away, Blake's car had broken down in the middle of a dark street that would eventually lead her to Penn's house. She didn't even bother trying to restart the engine, instead she shoved the door open and she flew out into the pouring rain. Blake ran. She ran like she'd never ran before. She was close enough to his house to know the way now and she followed her feet as they led her to his door.

The rain was soaking Blake's dress and hair, and her make-up was quickly mixing together on her face. Blake forced her arms against the wind as the rain splashed across her face. She sprinted across the streets, turning down numerous roads as she got closer to her destination. She felt like she was in a movie. It was one of those climatic moments where the girl would realise what she wanted. That pivotal scene where she knew they'd made the wrong decision and then would dash in the other direction, racing to get to her man. Dramatic and moving music would play in the background which would mix with the stormy sounds of the night. She could almost feel the music dancing around her ears; and it only made the adrenaline inside her pump more furiously which forced her feet to move faster against the puddles of rain.

She stopped. Her body still. She stared at the house in front of her. She braced herself for the moment to come. But she couldn't stand there any longer; she was desperate to see him. To touch him. To put her hands all over his neck and kiss him furiously. She ran to the door and rapidly slammed her knuckles against it.

The door swung open. There she was. Droplets of rain trickled down her cheeks and dropped to the ground as they reached her chin. Her make-up had run and her hair clung to her body. His mouth was open aghast at the sight.

She grabbed him. Her hands wrapped around his neck and she pushed him against the wall next to the door. She hungrily pressed her mouth against his. She stilled her movements on him, only for a second until she opened her mouth wider as she pushed her tongue against his lips. He let her in almost immediately and their tongues quickly began to massage against each other. Penn put his hands on the small of her back as they moaned slightly into each other's mouths.

Blake broke their kiss and stepped away from his body. She stared at Penn, whose eyes were still shut and his lips were pursed, waiting for Blake's to return to them. But they didn't.

"I'm sorry." She pulled his hands from her back and walked to the door.

An hour or so later Penn was sat on the couch. Blake's actions still replaying in his mind like a song on repeat. He gazed in bewilderment at the card she had made him. He picked it up from the coffee table and ran his fingers over the card. His phone beeped in his pocket and pulled it out to find a text. A text from someone he never thought he would hear from again. 'I miss you. Zoe.'

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**A/N: First of all I just wanna say thank you to everyone who's reviewed this sotry so far (here and on tumblr)! And I hope you weren't dissapointed with this chapter! So Penn's awake! Finally. And they kissed! So I hope you guys like it, although I'm sure you weren't too keen on the last paragraph! haha :p And I'm on Easter break now so will have..slightly more time for writing!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7.**

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The cream couch was soaking wet, the water from Blake's dress and hair had covered the couch; which was also stained from the salty tears she had cried. She had managed to call Ryan about 20 minutes go and apologised she didn't make it to their dinner. She made up some excuse about how she got a call from a friend, and that she was rushed over there for the night. Ironic that it was the other way around.

She sat nervously as she twiddled her thumbs and her eyes darted around the room, not knowing where to look. She was expecting her friend Katie to show up 5 minutes ago and she was getting impatient. She needed to get it off her chest; the secrets of last night had been eating away at her, threatening to take over her. Before she knew it, Blake was absorbed in her memory. Last night had been repeating itself in her mind ever since it had happened and already she could feel the taste of Penn's lips on hers. She could smell his scent as it encompassed her until she felt like she couldn't breathe. It was enough to drive her wild. She could feel his hands on her waist and the curls of his hair in her hands. His tongue swirled around hers as...

"Blake! I'm here!" Katie's outburst abruptly interrupted her thoughts. Blake unlocked her hands and it almost felt like she was unlocking them from the tight grip she had in his hair.

Blake got up from the couch and walked to towards Katie standing in the door way.

"Hey" Blake spoke softly, but her eyes remained firmly on the floor. She couldn't believe what she had done, she needed to get it out but she knew once she did it would somehow make it all more real.

"Blake, what's going on? It's 10 o clock at night and you're drenched! Where have you been?" Blake slowly backed towards the couch and beckoned Katie to join her.

They sat in silence for what felt like hours, in reality maybe only a few minutes. Katie looked at her, worried. She hasn't seen Blake like this before and it scared her. Although she wanted to know what was going on, she knew she shouldn't push her and she'd eventually tell her when she had the courage.

"I kissed someone." Blake confessed. Guilt wrapped around her as the words fell from her lips and immediately she wished it had never happened.

"Wow. Okay. Who?" Katie knew it wasn't really important who it was but she knew Blake would have to tell her at some point.

"That doesn't matter right now. The point is I cheated. I'm a cheater." And with that tears erupted from her eyes as she looked up and Katie.

"Come here", Katie stretched out her arms and Blake cried onto her shoulder as she let her words sink in. After a minute or two, Blake pulled away and looked at her. She looked lost, confused, vulnerable. Words that would never normally come to mind when describing Blake Lively.

"Have you ever had someone who used to be the most important person in your life, but you drifted apart, and then something happened and you thought you were gonna lose them forever?" Blake looked away from Katie's hard stare and hoped she wouldn't guess who she was talking about, even thought it was pretty obvious; especially since Penn's accident had been all over the news.

"Are you talking about Penn?" Blake flinched slightly at the sound of his name. She nodded slowly; she couldn't really cope with admitting it with words.

"Oh god Blake, how did this happen?" Katie's tone was kind, but tinted with a slight hint of judgement.

"I thought he was gonna die, okay? I mean god, Katie it was awful. I got a call from his mom and she said that was it. And that his time was running out. I was scared and confused but all, all I knew was that I had to find him. I…" Blake trailed off, not sure what to say anymore. Her eyes had been focused anywhere and everywhere but Katie's while she spoke, but now she felt the courage to face them.

"So what does this mean? Do you wanna divorce Ryan?!" Katie words had a touch of anger stained to them as she spoke; she'd always had a soft spot for Blake and Ryan.

"No! God no! I mean I don't know what came over me. I just…seeing Penn in the hospital..lying there…and then when I thought that was it…I...just I…I missed him. I missed him like I've never missed him before and…" Blake stammered through her words.

"Okay, but this is just a mistake right? I mean you're not gonna do anything about it are you?"

"I don't know! All I know is that I'm scared. I can't stop thinking about him. Wondering...I mean what if we'd stayed together? What if I hadn't run out on him…I mean maybe...maybe we'd be the ones married now, Katie!" Blake's words hit her like a tornado and she almost felt like collapsing in that very moment. We'd be the ones married now. Would they? I mean after all he was never keen, especially at such a young age but god maybe she'd made a huge mistake.

_"Blake will you please stop jumping to conclusions! I never said I never wanted to get married! Just not now! God Blake, can't you see we're too young?!" He stepped towards her, reaching for her arms but she moved away._

_"No, Penn. This is what I want! It's what I've always wanted, and if it's not what you want, then I don't think we can be together" Blake shouted, all the emotion inside her exploded at her last few words. No matter how much she wanted to get married, she'd never wanted to leave Penn. She loved him so much. More than she'd ever loved anyone. He was everything to her. _

_"Blake, please. God, please don't say things like that! I love you." Penn's voice was calm as he spoke, trying to get Blake to calm down and just listen to him. He couldn't lose her. He wouldn't. _

_"I love you." It was almost as though it was a question, said so sincerely but somehow he felt like he needed to convince her it was true. Not that she didn't know it already. _

_"Blake listen to me." He grabbed at her hands and pulled them towards his face. He tilted her chin up so she was staring into his chocolate brown eyes. _

_"I love you." He pleaded. _

_"Please." His eyes begged for her to stay with him. He titled his head to the side, as he made the most desperate attempt not to lose her. The echo of his words made his eyes gloss over. The thought of losing her was unmanageable. _

_"Please don't leave me! If you just wait, Blake. Wait for me and we can get married! We can have a life together." He paused. _

_"You and me." He said optimistically, hoping the promise of a future together would turn her around. Blake's hands trembled in his and her eyes began to fill with tears. He pulled her hands towards his lips in once last attempt to keep her. He kissed them and looked back at her, even though her eyes had now met with the floor again. He had run out of the things to do, he didn't know what to say or what to think. All he knew was that he couldn't lose her. Blake pulled her hands away from his tight grip and planted them by her sides. _

_"I'm sorry." Her words got caught in her throat. She started to turn away from him. _

_"Blake." He poured every inch of his love for her into that one word. Blake. Her. His love. She reluctantly looked back, knowing she'd never forget the look of his broken face. The man she was madly and hopelessly in love with. The love of her life. Her everything. _

_"Goodbye, Penn" she choked. And with that she was gone._

Blake hadn't spoken for several minutes and neither had Katie. Blake stared at her hands which quickly blurred into one as the tears clouded her vision. Her body shook at the memory and it made her heart ache.

"I made a mistake." Blake's eyes grew wider at her new found revelation. Katie sighed.

"Okay, I'll go get the phone and you can tell Ryan. Tell him what happened, I'm sure he'll be forgiving in time, Blake. But don't worry he loves you."

"No." Blake was confident.

"No that's not what I mean. I made a mistake breaking up with Penn, not kissing him. I never should have left him, because..." Blake paused; making sure what she was about to say was true. But it was, it so was.

"Because I love him." She almost leaped out of her chair as the words fell from her mouth; and she quickly wiped the tears away from her eyes.

"I have to go." Blake looked at Katie and nodded, not to Katie but to herself. This was what she wanted. It was what she always wanted.

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**A/N: Sorry, again. Although I had an idea for where this was gonna go, it was only a rough one, so I struggled to know what to write. But it's here now and I hope I didn't dissapoint. I definitely know where I'm going with the next chapter, so if you're lucky and I have some time and inspiration, it'll be up in the next few days! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8.**

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Luckily the rain had eased up and it was now, quite simply, just a dark, cloudy night. Blake had been driving for a while and she was getting tired, it had been such a long day, but she knew this couldn't wait. Before her and Ryan had bought the house they lived in now, Blake lived in beautiful house in a pretty deserted street; but the main reason she loved her house so much was that it was only a 3 minute drive from Penn's house. Normally they'd spend most of their days together; sometimes the whole day was spent inside. But on the occasion when they were apart, sometimes she would just really miss him; so she'd get her stuff and drive over to his house and surprise him.

_Blake opened the front door of Penn's house with her spare key._

_"Guess who!" Blake dropped the keys on the table next to the door. She quickly made her way to the living room where she'd normally find him watching TV. He wasn't there. _

_"__Penn?" She'd be lying if she said she wasn't just the tiniest bit worried. She tiptoed into various rooms of the house but he was nowhere to be found. Blake turned her head and glanced through the crack in the doorway between the kitchen and study area. She didn't expect to find him in his office since he rarely sat in there nowadays. But she was desperate to find him so she slowly pushed the gap open further and saw him sitting at his desk. His hand held a pen that he was tapping on a wad of paper. He had his headphones in and was clearly bopping away to some song. Blake breathed a sigh of relief and smiled as she glided over to him. Penn almost had a heart attack when he heard her. _

_"__Oh my god, Blake! You scared the living shit out of me!" _

_"__I'm sorry!" she stressed as she walked closer towards him. As his breathing returned to normal he slid his hands around her waist. _

_"__What did I do to earn this lovely surprise?" Blake smiled as she slowly lifted her legs, one by one, and straddled him on his chair. "_

_I missed you?" A cute, childish grin appeared on her lips as she put her hands in his hair. He smiled in return; he loved how adorable his girlfriend was. He gazed into her eyes and then wrapped his long fingers around her neck and pulled her towards him. They kissed for what felt like hours, neither one making it anything more just enjoying the feeling of being with each other. Blake was the first to pull away and looked at him with a look that was only reserved for him, a look of love. _

_"__You know how late it is right? Not that I'm complaining about you being here." Penn uttered. _

_"__I know, I know." She fidgeted on his lap, to get into a more comfortable position. "But I wanted to see you. Is that okay?" Penn sighed. _

_"__God, of course it's okay, Blake." He pulled her toward him but this time pushing her head towards his shoulder. She slumped down slightly so she was comfortably lying at his side. He played with her beautiful blonde locks as her fingers brushed against his chest._

Blake stepped out the car and slowly made her way towards his door for the second time that evening. It was if nothing else, a tad embarrassing. But she didn't care, this was something she had to do; and she felt a lot more confident than she did earlier on. Last time it had been out of lust and a sudden wave of emotion. This time she was more certain, she knew what she was doing and she wasn't going to run off this time. She'd had time to process her thoughts and although it felt a bit out of the blue on the surface, she knew these feelings had been swimming around inside her for weeks.

Seeing him in a coma was enough to break her heart and know that he was the only one that could put it back together. It's things like this that make you wake up, right? Make you realise what you want and that you'll do anything to get it. Maybe in a weird way Penn's accident was a blessing. Maybe it was what was supposed to bring them back together. Maybe…"Stop it, Blake" she uttered to herself. Blake raised her hand to the door, she was scared. Actually no, scared didn't do it justice; petrified would be more like it. She was shivering and Blake wasn't sure whether that was because of the cold weather or because she was as nervous as hell. But before she had time to settle on a judgement, the door swung open.

"Blake?" Penn was more than a little confused but he didn't have any time to think before she briskly walked past him into his living room. Her hands waving all over the place as she blurted out everything and anything she was feeling; Blake was always a bit of a rambler.

"And that's when I realised something." She turned to look at Penn; her eyes grew wider than usual as she stepped towards him. Blake smiled a little, knowing her words could change her life in an instant. In a good way. In a really, really good way. "I realised that I-".

"Hey Penn have we got any-...Blake!" Zoe came out from the kitchen holding a plate of some sort of weird sushi, her eyes had been locked on the plate she hadn't seen Blake in the room. Blake strained her lips into a forced smile.

"Zoe!" She said with a sarcastically upbeat tone. Blake nodded as she glanced over at Penn. His mouth was agape as he stared at her. He flinched his head slightly as a way of somehow apologising, without actually having to say it. Blake bit her lip as she continued to gaze at Penn. She was more than a little embarrassed and maybe even a little upset. Not that she had a right to be.

Penn's eyes were wide on hers and his mouth was still open ajar for a few seconds until he gulped it shut. Blake twisted in her spot, swung her arms around her waist slightly as she spoke; "Umm…I should get going. I heard about the accident yesterday, I uhh… I just wanted to make sure you were okay." She lied. Why had she lied?

"Anyway…I…I should umm…I should go." Blake stuttered. Penn looked at her defeated face.

Blake turned to leave as she slowly walked to the door. She was desperate to get out of there but somehow she walked slowly, almost as though she was allowing time for him to run up to her and grab her and kiss her and-

"Bye Blake!" Zoe shouted from the back of the room.

"Bye." Blake swallowed. Was he going to say anything? Penn was still speechless and hadn't said a word since she'd arrived. "Okay then." Blake's hand was on the door handle and as she pushed it down she turned her head towards him again.

She paused for a second "Umm...bye." She smiled a soft smile, but Penn could tell it was a broken one. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he had a chance to say goodbye; the door was shut. And she was gone.

Blake woke with the feeling of decisiveness on her shoulders. She needed to make a decision: go after Penn with everything she had or to let him be happy with Zoe. She hated how tempting the second option was. But it was; it was tempting. Wasn't his happiness more important than her own? I mean she was a...great influence on him, right? I mean sure he'd gotten back into smoking and looked unhealthily thin but who was she to judge. And appearances weren't everything; maybe she'd changed him on the inside. Maybe he was a better person now. Without her. Oh wow, I'm gonna have to let him go, aren't I? Blake thought to herself. As her words sunk in, she began to cry. Faint sniffs covered up the sound of a breaking heart. It was time to let him go, once and for all. Maybe she could be happy with Ryan. He was her husband after all. Decision made, Blake drooped out if bed and headed to the shower. It was a new day and it was time to change.

Later that evening Blake sat alone in the dining room; quietly munching away at her Chinese takeout. Ryan was away for the evening and normally she'd cook something for herself, but she really wasn't in the mood. Minutes later she heard a rather violent tapping at the door. Curiously she got up and slowly made her way towards it. She was always reluctant to open the front door, she knew it sounded stupid but sometimes she was still a little girl inside. Regardless, she grasped her hand on the knob and turned it open.

The opening of the door revealed him standing there. The harshly lit lamp in the porch highlighted all the features on his face. His brown eyes were glowing, his nose was slender under the light and his lips were tightly pursed together, like he was waiting to tell her something.

Blake's eyebrows squinted at the sight as she felt her heartbeats quicken.

"Can I come in?" Blake nodded in response as she moved away from the door to let him in. "We need to talk." Penn looked at Blake sincerely; eyes still wide and focused on hers.

"Penn you don't...if you're here about before, don't bother okay I was stupid and honestly don't know what I was thinking." Penn didn't believe any of it. She wouldn't show up at his place twice in one night for no reason. Especially when one of those times was to kiss him. The second, maybe it was unobvious for most, but Penn had felt her words floating around the air before she had a chance to say them. And from what he could tell they felt an awful lot like three simple words that when they were strung together could have overwhelming effect.

"Come on, Blake! You don't show up at your ex's house twice in one night just for nothing! Especially when one of those times..." He paused and inhaled a breath of air. "You kissed them."

The room fell silent and it seemed as though the world had stopped for a second. Although they were metres apart, they felt closer than ever. Both of them reliving in the moment that had consumed both their thoughts ever since it had happened. They could still feel it. She could still feel his hands on her waist and her back and the taste if his tongue in her mouth. He felt her body tightly pressed against his as her hands roamed in his hair.

Blake coughed in attempt to silence the awkwardness; which was, in reality quite clearly sexual tension.

"Can we just forget that ever happened please?" Blake smiled softly at him.

"I don't think we can just forget it, move on-".

"Look, you're with Zoe and you're happy. She makes you happy and I...I'm with Ryan and he makes me happy. So we're...we're both happy." Blake paused. "Apart." She looked down so Penn couldn't see the hurt in her eyes.

"Blake-". Penn attempted to get her to listen to him as he carefully stepped towards her.

"Penn." Her eyes dashed upwards to look him in the eyes. "Go. Be happy. With Zoe. I mean this, this was nothing, okay?" He tilted his head to indicate that it was a hell lot more than nothing. Blake flinched at his hard stare and slowly stepped towards the door.

"I'll see you." Blake opened the door and stood to one side so Penn could walk out freely. He reluctantly paced towards the door. He knew they still had a lot of things to talk about; a kiss wasn't just something you threw under the rug.

"Yeah." Penn fired a defeated smirk in Blake's direction as he dipped his head and he walked out the door. Penn was about 3 metres down the pathway when he turned to see Blake still watching him. Her blue eyes sparkled in the moonlight as she watched him leave. They were caught in one last glance, one last feeling of hope until it would all come shattering down when Penn turned his head to walk away. And with that he was no longer in her sight, she sighed as her head fell and hit the side of the door.

"I guess this was goodbye". Blake whispered under her breath. Tears filled in her eyes as she spilled out what she'd been longing to say to him for a long time now; "And I love you."

* * *

**A/N: Unrealistic? Who cares anymore, this is the way it's going. And besides all fics aren't exactly what happened otherwise you wouldn't write them. They've all got certain adaptations to situations and since this hasn't even happened who are we to know if it's unrealistic? Maybe it's exactly what would happen! Haha, we don't know. But anyway please keep reviewing and let me know what you think of the flashbacks and stuff. Is there enough detail btw? Do I need to add more descriptions to the scenes, do you think? Can you see what's going on? Haha, if you get what I mean lol.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9.**

* * *

It was time to move on. Once and for all. I mean, she'd done if before, she could do it again. Easy. All she had to do was be happy with Ryan. She could do that, right? I mean Ryan was...nice, and sweet and funny and...maybe a little annoying at times, but he was...great. And she loved him, she did. And Penn was her past, there was no future there it was just her getting a little carried away.

Blake had been at this for hours; trying to convince herself Penn wasn't right for her and Ryan was. She had to admit it was difficult, but she was getting there. Slowly.

It had been 4 days since she'd last seen Penn. And each day got a little better; gradually she started to laugh a little more at Ryan's jokes; she'd find it easier to feel content in his arms; she'd look in his eyes and see someone who loved her. But there was one thing she couldn't shake, and that was Penn's face every time she went to go to sleep.

Blake lay in bed trying to discard the images of Penn from her mind as she heard the door unlock downstairs. After a few minutes she heard Ryan's footsteps on the stairs, each got louder as he got closer to their room.

"Hey." He peeped his head round the door as he pushed it open.

"Hi" Blake smiled shyly.

"I'll go to the bathroom and then come to bed, okay?" Blake nodded as she wrapped the duvet around her tighter, the draft from the door made her shiver.

About 10 minutes later Ryan climbed into bed behind Blake and kissed her ear.

"Hey." She fidgeted out of his embrace as she turned to face him.

"How was your evening?" Blake was totally uninterested but right now she was desperate for anything to get her mind off Penn.

"Good. Good. We had a great time. You get up to much?" Blake shifted slightly in her spot.

"Umm no nothing, pretty boring." She still hadn't told Ryan that she'd been to visit Penn after his accident; and as far as Ryan was concerned they hadn't seen each other in almost 2 years. She was actually pretty impressed he hadn't found out. "Hey, I'm sorry I missed our dinner though." Blake genuinely felt bad for dropping everything to go after Penn; but at the time she felt like she had no choice. Blake rubbed his arm up and down as she apologised.

"Yeah well I was little pissed." Blake no longer felt guilty. "What happened with your friend anyway? Katie was it?"

"Yeah, Kate…yeah she umm she broke up with her boyfriend."

"Oh. Wait I thought they broke up months ago?" Blake wanted to smack herself for being so stupid. She looked down to buy herself some time.

"Yeah. No she umm…they got back together a few days ago but it didn't work out."

"Huh, I'm not surprised I didn't get why they were together in the first place he was such a jerk." Blake felt a little angry at Ryan's comment. She thought Katie's ex was a really great guy. He actually kinda reminded her of Penn, they were both very musically gifted.

"You didn't like him?" Blake was curious.

"Nah I mean he was just...I dunno weird. I guess I just find it weird guys who sing as like a hobby. If they're a musician, professionally; fine. But otherwise, I dunno just guys singing, I've always thought of it as a bit gay." Wow. How rude was he? Blake was a bit startled. She couldn't speak for all guy musicians, but Penn_ certainly _wasn't gay.

"Well I liked him."

"I bet you did! He looks a lot like me." Ryan sniggered as he winked at her. Blake laughed at his comment, if only he knew the real reason she liked him. "Okay, but I wanna make it up to you for missing dinner the other night, so let's do it tomorrow night instead, what do you say?" A cheeky grin appeared across Blake's face. She was already starting to feel a bit happier and she was glad she felt she had a decent chance at moving on.

* * *

It was 9 am and Blake tentatively walked down the wooden staircase into the living room where she saw Ryan eating toast with his feet up. The day before she had decided on telling Ryan that she had visited Penn when he was in hospital; but she wasn't going to tell him about the kiss. No way. He may eventually forgive her for visiting her ex in hospital; but kissing him. Definitely not. Ryan had always been so untrusting of her around Penn; maybe now she could see why. But it still didn't really give him a reason too; it wasn't like they'd been having sex between takes on set or something. It was a one off kiss because she thought he had died. Fair enough right? Yeah fair enough if that was it; Blake thought to herself.

"Hey, Ryan?" She spoke timidly as she reached the bottom of the stairs. "Can we talk for a sec?"

"Sure, babe. What's up?" He patted the on the space next to him on the couch. She sat in it as she nervously fiddled with her hair.

"Umm I just wanted to tell you something. I uhh…well I'm guessing you heard about Penn's accident on the news a few weeks ago?" Ryan squinted his eyes as his fingers twitched. He hated how she still called him 'Penn' like they were close enough that he didn't need a last name. And besides just hearing that name made him flinch with anger.

"Uhh yeah I heard about it..." Ryan attempted to seem disinterested as he picked up a second slice of toast.

"Well I umm, I went to visit him when he was in hospital." Blake couldn't bare look at him as she spoke.

"You what?!" Ryan's voice shook from the anger boiling inside of him.

"Yeah look I'm sorry I didn't tell you I just didn't think it was that important!" Blake tried to calm him down by lying to him. Ryan was seething and she could tell. She hoped she wouldn't regret telling him. "I'm sorry, baby." She put her hand on his arm and began to rub it as he shook it off.

"I just can't believe you went to go see your ex behind my back!"

"I know. But it's not like anything happened! I mean he was in a coma Ryan, I just sat there." Ryan shook his head.

"That doesn't make things better, Blake." Blake looked down as his hard stare remained focused on her head. "You know what, I need some space I'm going for a run." He jogged up the stairs, leaving his half eaten piece of toast on the couch. Blake sat; still. She felt awful but at the same time felt like Ryan was being totally unreasonable.

* * *

A few days later, Ryan and Blake sat at a table snuck in the corner of a restaurant. There was a window to the side of the table which had an amazing view of the garden outside; there was a selection of many different flowers which led the eyes towards a beautifully lit stream at the end of the garden. It was such a lovely place; it was one of Blake's favourite restaurants; which was why she suggested it.

Blake's hand was tentatively placed on Ryan's arm as they both were engrossed in the menu. They shared a few sweet kisses and smiles and dabbled in light conversation as they waited for their meals to arrive. Blake was so glad Ryan had eventually forgiven her about visiting Penn. She was determined for things to be better between her and Ryan; and she knew if he held a grudge about it they'd have a lesser chance of going back to normal.

"You look beautiful tonight." Blake blushed as she brushed her hair out of her face.

"Thank you." She sweetly rubbed her fingers against his cheek as he smiled softly at her. Blake was so thankful things were going so well between them. It had been almost a week since she'd last seen Penn and although she still thought about him at times, she really felt she was slowly moving on; which was a huge relief.

Blake looked up at Ryan as she gazed deep into his eyes.

"You know, I'm really glad we're back to normal. I feel really happy, and I know it's because of you." Ryan smirked slightly at the compliment.

"Well I'm glad I can make you happy." He kissed her cheek delicately. "How about we get out of here?" Blake nodded excitedly and grabbed her purse to pay for the meal.

* * *

Penn stared blankly at the black atmosphere in front of him. All the lights were out and he couldn't see a thing. Actually that was a lie; there was one thing he could see. And that was Blake. She appeared as if she were the only light in his life, all he needed to keep going. But she was gone now. And that light only ignited his dreams. He had contemplated going to see her again, to get her to talk. But he knew it would be a waste of time, she'd only throw him out again. He was pretty sure she had moved on now anyway. Photos of her and Ryan at a fancy restaurant had been released yesterday and he felt a blinding pain in his chest when he saw them. Maybe she was just messing with him all along. Maybe it was just one of her weird pranks; like the time she told him he was adopted and his dad was some famous musician. He loved her sense of humour but if this had been one big joke he'd be really, really pissed.

But regardless of whether her feelings were a lie or not, he was sure his feelings weren't. He was doing completely fine till she came back into his life. Sure he was in a coma, but before then it was all fine; he had absolutely no feelings for her whatsoever. And now, now he couldn't stop thinking about her and how he missed her. God he missed her. He missed her lying next to him and how she would display a half smile in her sleep and then in the morning end up telling him she had been dreaming of him. Sometimes after their breakup he'd pick up the pillow next to him, and raise it to his nose and try and engulf her scent. At first it was still there; clinging to the casing like his hands would to the pillow, desperate to feel her next to him. But after a while the smell of her disappeared and no longer lingered on the white sheet; so he'd cry into the pillow some nights, which would often slowly send him to sleep**.**

He missed her smile and her laugh. Her laugh was so infectious he knew he didn't laugh nearly as often now. Now that he was without her. He missed everything about her and he just wished he knew what the other night was about. She had probably completely forgotten about him, while he lay there feeling lost and confused. Life without Blake always left him confused.

* * *

**A/N: Okay so I know one person said they wanted less drama, so hopefully this counts as less drama? But I can't say the same of the next chapter though. I think you're gonna like it ;) Thank you for all the reviews for the last chapter they were all amazing.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10.**

* * *

Blake was getting ready for the premiere of 'Dreamers'; Ryan was sick so she was going alone, but she was really excited to see the movie. She had seen the trailer a few times now and it looked really good. Blake shifted so to get a better glance at herself in the mirror. 'I clean up nice.' Blake thought to herself as she chuckled at her comment. Blake was wearing a long turquoise dress that came down to her ankles and her hair was curled and up in a wavy ponytail. She missed her curly hair and she promised herself she would curl it more often.

Blake walked down the stairs and sat on the arm rest of the chair Ryan was sitting on. He was coughing and spluttering everywhere with tissues all over the room and a rug wrapped tightly around him.

"Hey I hope you feel better soon, baby." Blake rubbed his cheek as she smiled delicately at him. Ryan grunted as she got up from her seat.

"When errr...when will you be back?" Ryan asked.

"Oh god I have no idea, sweetie. Maybe around 12 ish?"

"Okay, well I'll be in bed by then."

"I know you will." Blake smiled as she winked at him. "I'll see you later, okay?" Ryan nodded as she opened the door to leave.

Penn rummaged his hands in his hair trying to get it back to normal. For some reason it looked crazy tonight and he'd spent longer than usual trying to get it to look as it normally would. It was curlier tonight and was getting a little long again.

"I should probably get it cut again soon" as he looked himself up and down in the mirror. Penn wore a black suit and tie; just a simple outfit, he didn't normally like to wear lots of colours; and he'd always been told black suited him best. To be honest, he really couldn't be bothered to go to this movie premiere. But he knew he should, it was his first public appearance since his accident and he knew he needed to get back out there at some point. So he reluctantly grabbed his keys and headed for the door.

Penn sat at the bar staring blankly at the lights and flashes ahead of him. He'd had a few pictures taken but he really didn't want to go back out there. He was surprised at how tired he was; that accident had really slowed him down and he just felt like he'd rather be at home. Not that he was ever hugely keen on these big events, but Blake had always dragged him along. Actually that was a lie. He loved going to them with her, she'd never leave his side and they'd always have an amazing time together. But when he was on his own, it sucked. He sipped at his drink as he looked around at the people at the premiere. He didn't notice anyone and it was almost embarrassing coming to this thing alone.

Blake stood in a corner a few metres away from the bar, drink in hand chatting to a few people she knew from various projects.

"Blake, want a refill?" Jenny gestured for her glass.

"Uhh you know a refill would be great, thanks" Blake smiled genuinely as Jenny took her drink over to the bar.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." Tom walked into the distance and Blake stood there quietly on her own. She looked around the building admiring the beautiful paintings on the walls. Her eyes reached the bar as she looked for Jenny. Blake noticed her talking to handsome guy; 'so that's why she's taking so long' Blake pondered, laughing a little. As her eyes bounced from Jenny to the man, to a couple to Penn to- What? Blake's eyes immediately darted back to him. Penn was here? Her mouth fell open slightly at the sight of him. Wow he looked good. He looked really, really good. Blake took a breath as she looked him up and down. She had a slight smirk on her face as she stared at him. She was even more turned on by the fact he was wearing black. She really loved him in black and she'd always told him it suited him. Her eyes had been on him for almost a minute as she realised she'd been staring, and if she looked at him much longer he'd notice. So she quickly removed her eyes from him and looked down and the floor; but only for a second before her eyes landed on him again. She couldn't stop looking at him. All she wanted to do was grab his hand and pull him to the bathrooms and make him fuck her.

She gulped at the thought. But she was moving on right? And she'd done a pretty good job up until now and she wasn't gonna let some black suit and great hair change that, so she decided to distract herself by turning herself around so she was facing the party. She was going to go and join in but wanted to wait until Jenny came back over.

Penn was getting so bored and it was only 10:30; he downed the rest of his drink and got up to head back to the main hall; but when he did he noticed a very beautiful blonde not far away from him. Her hair was wavy, just how he liked it and her dress showed off her figure perfectly; which he had to admit was a pretty skinny figure. He'd noticed she'd looked pretty thin lately and he hoped she'd been eating okay; she'd always been the one to order the biggest meal in a restaurant, not him. She loved her food and he loved her curves, but she didn't have them anymore. He looked at her for a while, admiring her beauty until he decided to go over to her. He really needed to know why she came over last week; even though he had an idea; he needed that closure.

Penn briskly marched over to her from the bar and cleared his throat when he reached her to get her attention. She jumped a little and turned to see him facing her. He was closer than he should be and she wasn't sure she could trust herself around him. She stepped back a little to reduce the proximity between them.

"Penn what are you doing here?" She huffed as she folded her arms.

"We need to talk about last week."

"No we don't, okay. I already said it was nothing."

"Look I'm not gonna let you walk off this time, so take as much time as you need, because you're going to tell me before the night ends." Blake looked at him; he wasn't angry or mad, just longing to know what she wanted to say that night and she could see it in his eyes.

"Okay. But not here." Penn nodded.

"Follow me." She reluctantly followed him, hoping he wouldn't lead her to a location that was completely abandoned; she really didn't think she'd be able to trust herself around him and she was nervous she'd just kiss him again like the last time.

"Okay." Penn looked up at her as he waited for her to speak. They were in a dimly lit corridor towards the back of the building. It was deserted and there was no one in sight. 'Just don't do anything stupid, Blake. Just tell him and you can leave' Blake thought to herself.

"Umm…well I…I..." She looked down and shook her head. This was a bad idea.

"Hey." He grabbed at her arm tentatively, which immediately ignited a fire inside her as she bit her lip and stared at him. "Okay. Would it make it easier if I guess what I think you wanted to say? And if I get it wrong, and you don't change it, it's honestly not what you were going to tell me, then you can leave and I'll never bother you again." Blake felt comforted by his words, she was sure he wouldn't know what she had wanted to say. He couldn't know, could he? "But if I get it right. Blake, if I get it right. You have to tell me, okay?" She was scared now. What if he got it right?

"Penn...I don't think that's a very good idea…" She trailed off.

"I don't care." Penn's face was serious. "Right now I need to know, Blake. Because…because I haven't been able to get you out of my head." His eyes lifted from the floor to look deep into her blue eyes. She gulped slightly and her heart began to quicken. A small smile crept across her face as she watched him. They stared at each other, eyes flickering around all parts of their face, absorbing it all. She was so captured in his gaze it made the moment feel surreal. Blake felt like he was leaning in to kiss her, but maybe she was just imagining it, even so Blake quickly darted her eyes away from him. She wasn't going to do anything. She just needed him to guess and then she could leave and she could move on. Blake coughed as she cleared her throat.

"Okay. Guess." She looked back up at him. His lips were pursed and he looked seriously hot. The wait was killing her. Could he just speak already? She knew she couldn't last much longer until she'd just end up grabbing his hands in hers and dragging him to the nearest bathroom stall.

"Okay then. Did you… Did you err..." He was nervous which made him stumble on his words. What if he was being a dick and assuming the other night meant more than it did. What if really did mean nothing and he had just jumped to conclusions?

She was looking away from him now; looking anywhere but at him, she stared at the faintly lit lights on the walls and at a door which was almost completely concealed by the darkness. It was the door they came through which would lead them back to the party; away from their own little world they had found themselves in.

"Blake." He whispered softly trying to catch her attention. She hesitantly moved her eyes so they were locked with his.

"Did you come to say..." He took a breath as he braced himself. "I love you?" Blake was taken aback; she really didn't expect him to guess it, but just hearing those words come out of his mouth, even if he wasn't saying them to her was enough to make her do something she promised herself she wouldn't.

She tilted her head slightly as she assaulted his lips with hers. She wrapped her hand around his neck as she kissed him. After a couple of seconds he locked his arms around her waist. Their bodies were tightly wrapped together as they kissed. As her right hand was pressed against the back of his head, tugging at his hair; her other hand was placed firmly on his shoulder. His back was against the wall, while both his arms were fixed around her waist as they made out in the middle of the corridor. Their tongues were tangled against each others as their mouths moved in unison. He began to moan into the kiss and she could feel the heat from his body radiating against hers.

Blake unwrapped her hands from him as she realised what she was doing. She pulled away from his grip on her and her mouth brushed against his as she stepped away from him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't..." She looked down as her fingers twitched against each other. Her cheeks were blushed; she felt a little embarrassed.

"Hey." He looked at her with a smile on his face. She looked up at him again. "You gotta stop saying that." He said as he lightly put his hand on the back of her neck. He knew if he was too forceful she'd break away so he slowly pulled her face towards his until their noses were touching. A feeling of contentment washed over them both and she relaxed in his arms. She sighed a little as a small smile appeared on her lips. He smiled briefly before he pulled her lips against his again. It was soft and didn't last very long until they both pulled away. Their foreheads touched for a second or two until she put her hand on the side of his face and pulled his lips back to hers. Their lips grazed against each other until he opened his mouth wider and deepened the kiss. His lips on hers, and his arms on her waist and her neck felt so right, but she lied to herself and pretended it was something to do with him being a good kisser.

They hadn't even been kissing for a minute until Blake pulled away again. Penn clenched his jaw, frustrated she had stopped the kiss again.

"We can't do this here." She said as her hand softly rubbed against his arm. A grin creeped across his lips.

"Yeah, yeah you're right. Let's umm...let's go to my car. I mean it's parked a few blocks away...but it'll probably d-"

"No." Blake interrupted him. "No, not to umm..." She smiled shyly. "To you know...I just I think we should talk." He nodded. "Only to talk." He'd be lying if he said he didn't want anything more, but talking was a good start. At least now he knew why she'd come over. Her reaction to his guess made it pretty clear.

They made their way towards the exit of the building. He pushed the door open, where a gust of wind and rain smacked them both in the face. Rain was splattering in numerous directions; it was almost like a blizzard. Tress were swaying as litter from the sidewalk was flown about the street; while car windscreen wipers were darting from one end to the other like crazy.

"Where did you say your car was?" Blake turned to look at Penn, giggling. He chuckled back at her.

"We'll just have to run!" Penn wrapped his hand in hers as he ran out of the building. She ran behind him, hands still locked together as she followed him to his car; they were getting absolutely soaked but neither of them cared. He stalled his running for a second to look at her. She had been watching him the whole time, but when he turned to glance at her they laughed at each other until they continued running. She hadn't felt this happy in a long time and it was clear when a huge beam erupted on her face; the feeling of his hand in hers had always been enough to make her smile. Most people hated rain, and so did Blake. But running and laughing in the rain with the person you loved was a pretty amazing feeling. She didn't care what happened between them, she knew she'd remember this night forever.

* * *

**A/N: Okay so I had to cut this short. I actually planned for this chapter to be double this length but then I thought it'd probably be over 3,500 words and I thought that last sentence was a good place to stop; so it'll continue from where we left off in the next chapter. But it is my longest chapter so far, regardless so; high five! :D I'm so addicted to writing this right now and you can probably guess why ;) So that probably means Chapter 11 will be up pretty soon, but then again I go back to college on Monday so I'll have less time...anyway we'll see. Oh and message to Alex and Anca - the joke is in the next chapter ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11.**

* * *

Penn unlocked the car and they jumped in; both soaking the seats in the process. Penn looked at her and laughed.

"You're drenched!"

"So are you" She giggled as they smiled at each other; their faces getting closer by the second. Their faces were centimetres apart and their heads were almost touching. Smiles still plastered all over their faces as they gazed into each other's eyes. Blake broke their stare as she bit her lip and pulled away.

"We...we can't."

"What? Why" Penn grinned as he leaned towards her, maybe he was a little drunk.

"No." She put her hand on his shoulder and pushed him away. "We're going to talk. Right?" He suddenly felt bad and realised he needed to restrain himself.

"Right." He nodded and turned to put the key in its socket. "I'm sorry." He looked down, avoiding her eyes.

"Hey." She spoke softly as placed her hand on his arm. "Don't worry, I mean we...we both got carried away."

"Yeah, we did" He looked back up at her. A ringing came from Blake's purse. She stared at the screen of her phone as she glanced wearily back at Penn. He looked confused so she tilted the screen so he could see. "Oh."

Blake gulped as she put the phone next to her ear. "Hi" Blake felt so guilty already.

"Hey. How's the movie?"

"Umm...it hasn't started yet." Blake lied.

"Yeah some err, some technical difficulties."

"Oh. So when do you think you'll be back?" By now Penn had started driving as she looked over at him; his eyes were on the road ahead. She bit the corner of her lip as she watched him. His hair was wet and his shirt clung to his body; she'd never known anyone to turn her on as much as Penn did. She rubbed her hand across her face as her eyes darted away from him, trying to distract herself.

"Umm maybe 12:30. 1 at the latest." Ryan groaned on the other end. "I'm sorry, but I'll be home before you know it, okay?" Hoping to make him feel better.

"Yeah okay, bye." Before she had a chance to say 'bye' back, he'd hung up. At least he wasn't giving her one of those long; 'I love you and I miss you' speeches. That would've made her feel even guiltier than she did already.

When they arrived outside his house, Penn glanced over at Blake who was twiddling her thumbs; busy thinking this was a bad idea.

"Hey. We're here to talk. Only talk." He mimicked her earlier words and she smiled at him.

"Yeah."

"Time to get wet again!" Penn said, mocking enthusiastically. Blake put her hair behind her ear as she smirked at his comment. Penn dramatically tilted his head as he looked at her. "Really?" She giggled.

"I'm sorry, I just...I watched this movie the other day and..."

"'Nough said." Penn chuckled as he opened the car door and stepped out onto the driveway. Blake followed him into the house.

They both stood in the living room uncomfortably looking around until their eyes landed on each other. Blake bit her lip as she stared at him. His hair was still curly despite the rain, and if it was possible it looked even better now as water droplets dripped onto his already soaking shirt. His white shirt clung to his muscular body and it was now almost completely see-through. She breathed in a little, her upper lip still caught on the bottom one. Penn's eyes were wide and travelled all over Blake's body as he stared at her. He couldn't stop staring as he wondered how he ever let someone this hot and beautiful get away. The combination of the rain and the thin material of Blake's dress made it almost transparent. He licked his lips as his eyes landed on her breasts. Her hair had unwrapped itself from the wavy ponytail she had had previously, and it now clung to her body, much like it did when she showed up at his house and kissed him a week ago.

"Uhhh...want a umm..." He couldn't really get his words out as his eyes were still focused on her chest. She snapped out of her long stare and looked back at his eyes; which was pretty much the only place she'd hadn't been looking. "Uhh..." Her nose scrunched up as her eyebrows burrowed together and her lips formed a slight smirk. "A uhhh...a drink?" He finally removed his eyes from her chest and focused them on her eyes. "A drink." He said firmly. Blake chuckled.

"Yeah I don't think a drink's a great idea." She laughed, referring to the way they had been staring at each other.

"Right, yeah." He grinned. "Well how about water?"

"Yes. Water would be great thanks." Blake flopped onto the couch as she looked around. It was weird being here; she never thought she'd see this place again.

"Here you go." He handed her her glass of water. She noticed he'd removed his jacket and now she could see all the muscles on his body as his shirt tightly gripped to his arms. She gulped at the sight. Either he was trying to turn her on even more or he was more stupid than she thought.

"Ummm do you think, maybe you could umm...get changed first?"

"What?" He furrowed his eyebrows, confused. She fidgeted in her seat.

"Umm yeah or at least dry your hair and put on another shirt and pants." He chuckled as he realised what she meant.

"Oh yeah okay. Well if we're gonna do that you're gonna need to dry off too." He said trying to steer his eyes away from her breasts; which he swore were becoming more visible every time he looked at them. Blake laughed at their obvious lack of restraint.

After they'd both dried themselves off, separately; they sat on the couch, sitting as far away from each other as possible. Blake's hair had been dried and it was still wavy, but was now a little frizzy and out of control. Penn had changed into a plain dark blue shirt and was wearing a pair of chequered cotton pants, which looked a lot like pyjamas bottoms. And his hair was now dry and also a little frizzy. Blake spluttered out her drink as she noticed his pants.

"Oh my god. Are they...?" She looked at him as a grin displayed across her face.

"What?" He said nonchalantly.

"Come on. Either you're a psychic or you remembered that I hate those pants!" He pressed his lips together as he debated telling her or not.

"Well since I thought you and I were planning on just talking we needed to you know, look at our worst." Blake laughed. "But I can say one thing's for sure, nothing's gonna happen tonight. I mean I'm wearing the weirdest pants ever and your hair is a total mess!" Blake giggled as her head moved closer to his. Penn rolled his lips around in a smile as he gazed back at her. "I think I've seen more of that smile tonight than I've seen in a long time" He said genuinely. Blake's look turned more serious.

"Okay, you're not allowed to say things like that. This is strictly..." She paused as she looked deep into his eyes. "Talking."

"I _was_ only talking" Penn fired back.

"Okay, very funny."

They were having so much fun she'd forgotten how they used spend practically all their time laughing together.

"Okay. So where do we start?" They both displayed little expression on their faces now, knowing they needed to keep things serious.

"Uhh...well I mean do you wanna tell me about why you came over the other night? The first time." Blake looked at her lap uncomfortably, she was sure this conversation was gonna be more embarrassing for her than for him.

"Umm...well, I guess it all started with watching you in a coma; I mean god Penn that was pretty horrific. Knowing there was a chance you'd never wake up again was really, really scary and so just watching you there...it made me realise how I'd feel if I lost you." Blake diverted her eyes away from him.

"Wow." Penn mumbled as he sat back in the couch, a little shocked. She sipped on her drink to try and reduce the feeling of awkwardness inside her. She looked at him briefly and he didn't look like he was about to say anything anytime soon so she decided to continue.

"Watching you there, just imagining life without you; was the worst feeling in the world. I mean I know...I know we haven't seen in each other in two years and I still can't believe that but...I mean at least I knew you were there, you know? Even if we couldn't be together, even if we couldn't even be friends I could still watch you become so incredibly successful, because I know you will be, Penn. You're so talented; and I know one day I'm gonna be so proud of you." Blake could feel herself tearing up. "I already am." She looked at him as her eyes began to water. His eyes had now returned to hers as they looked at each other. Blake's words were slowly sinking in one by one, and each word made his heart melt. 'Shit. I'm falling in love with her.' He realised. He raised his hands to her cheeks and slowly brushed the tears off her face.

His warm hands on her face caused a feeling in her stomach she couldn't describe. They gazed into each other's eyes as they heads drew closer and closer together. Their foreheads were now touching and his hands were still on her cheeks.

"Mmm" She sighed as she gently put one of her hands on his leg. His eyes flickered about her face until they landed back in the deep blue of her eyes.

"I love you." He whispered. She felt so happy it scared her a little. A soft smile crept across her lips as she put her spare hand on the back of his neck.

"I love you too." He beamed in return and pulled her towards him. The moment their lips touched Blake forgot about everything that had been on her mind, all she could think about was him. He moved his hands so they were on her waist and gripped her tightly. Blake began to moan feeling his hands on her waist and his tongue in her mouth. They both started rising from the couch and stumbled towards the back of the room as their tongues battled against each other. They were about a metre from the wall and Penn hastily put his hands under her legs and lifted her up. She quickly wrapped her legs behind his back as his hands gripped against the bottom of her thighs. Her hands firmly clutched onto his shoulders as her back slammed against the wall. They moaned against each other's mouths as Blake moved her hands to the bottom of his top tugging at it harshly. He pulled his lips away from hers and she lifted the shirt off and tossed it onto the floor. He moved one of his hands from her leg to her neck and kissed her gently. They smiled against each other's lips as Penn carried her up the stairs. They stopped every few steps so they could kiss and then continued making their way up the staircase.

Penn slowly set her down on the bed as he clambered on top of her. He kissed her nose and she smiled as she stroked his cheek. They looked at each other for a few seconds until he put his right hand on the zip of her dress and slowly pulled it down following it down her body. She watched him with eyes full of lust. Once he reached the bottom of zip he kissed her skin there and pulled the dress off her body completely. Penn kissed all over her stomach opening his mouth on her skin as she moaned at his touch. Blake watched him with waiting eyes as he kissed her skin repeatedly. He wrapped his fingers around the top of her underwear and began to pull it down slowly as she watched his every move, biting her lip with anticipation. He'd almost tugged it off completely until he pushed it back on again and climbed back up to her face where his lips hovered over hers.

"If you don't pull them off in the next 5 seconds I'm going to leave." He winked at her and lowered himself back down to her pants and ripped them off and she moaned at his harshness. She pulled his head back up to her face and kissed him passionately. She caressed his back as her hands travelled to the top of his pants, the second her hands met the material she briskly yanked them off and chucked them onto a heap on the floor. He wrapped his hands around her neck as they continued kissing on the bed, moaning into each other's mouths. Their tongues were wrapped around each others as he lowered his hands to her breasts. He began to massage them slowly as she groaned in his mouth. Her hands tugged at his back as he brushed his thumbs over her nipples. She separated her lips from his and breathed a hot breath into his ear.

"You wanna know a secret?" She paused. "I need you now, Penn." He gulped at her words and the feeling of her mouth on his ear was indescribable. Blake brought her head back onto the pillow to look into his eyes, the feeling inside her was the most amazing feeling in the world and even if she'd questioned her love for him over the past few weeks; she knew now she was totally and completely in love with him. He rested his hand on her cheek as he gave her a quick peck on her lips before he pulled off his boxers. They were both now completely naked, lying one on top of the other. They lay there for a few seconds as they gazed into each other's eyes; not wanting the night to come to an end. They'd both been waiting for this moment for song long, they just didn't know it.

"I think that's enough waiting, don't you think?" Blake giggled after a few seconds as she brought her hands down to his length. But he grabbed at her arms before she could reach him and pushed her hands behind her head before he thrust himself into her. A loud moan erupted from Blake's throat as she felt him inside her. She gripped at his shoulders as he pumped inside her; faster with every second. "God, Penn" she moaned his name repeatedly in his ear as he held onto her waist, while her legs were pressed firmly against his back.

Both their bodies rocked against each other as they moaned out in pleasure. Blake's head was arched back as Penn sucked on her neck. "God this is amazing." Penn breathed into her neck as he kissed her continuously.

"Mmm" she sighed as she watched him. She locked her hand around his neck and pulled his face up to hers. Their lips smashed together with such intensity as he continued to thrust inside of her. Their tongues were enveloped together to try and suppress their moans. Her hands dug into his shoulders as she knew she was getting close. Their lips separated to get their breaths back. "Faster, baby" Penn pushed as hard as he could and they both screamed out in pleasure.

He collapsed on top of her and his head fell to her chest as she stroked his hair; both breathing heavily as they tried to regain their breaths. After his breathing returned to normal he raised his head to face hers as he shifted his body so he was closer to her.

"Wow." They looked into each other's eyes for what felt like forever as their hands gently rested on each other's face. She smiled at him sincerely;

"That was incredible." Penn brushed his sweaty palm against her cheek. "Can I kiss you?" He wanted to make sure this was real and that she wasn't going to run away and go back to Ryan. She nodded her head in excitement as she beamed at him. He slowly wrapped his hand around her neck and pulled her lips against his. It only lasted a second or two but that was long enough for them both to feel like they were in the right place.

He rolled off her and lay on the pillow next to her. She turned her body onto her side and snuggled next to him. He wrapped his arm around her and placed his other arm on hers that was draped across his body. She twisted her head until she was comfortable on his chest when a smile appeared on her face. Blake was so happy she felt like she might explode.

"So dare I ask...?" Penn glanced at her. She tilted her head so she was watching his face.

"What?"

"What...what was that? I mean...are...are we...err..." He was so nervous she'd say it was just a one time thing or that she'd made a huge mistake.

She smiled cheekily at him; "Yes. We're back together." She moved her head so it was hovering over his as she smiled against his lips.

"Really?" He beamed.

"Really. If that's what you want?" She was the one who was nervous now.

"Yes. God of course it's what I want, Blake. Because I love you." Blake didn't think it was possible to feel this content, this happy, this in love. This was all she ever wanted. Him. She had always wished for everything with him. Not Ryan. Ryan had been a lie, a mistake, a way to bury her love for him. But he was it for her. He was everything she wanted and she wanted everything with him. She wanted a family with him. She wanted to marry him. Him. Only him. It was all she had ever wanted.

"I love you too. So much" She sighed. "I love you so much." She kissed him again as she watched his eyes dance around her face. They lay in silence; their bodies tangled together.

"So I was thinking..." Blake played with his fingers; too nervous to look into his eyes. "I...I want everything with you." Her head still on his chest while she interlocked her fingers with his. "I umm I want to marry you." She looked up knowing she'd want to be looking in his eyes when he told her he wanted that too.

His body tensed. The words stunned him. His heart actually stopped for a few seconds. His jaw clenched as he watched her wait for his response; anticipating the 'I want that too' or the 'I can't wait for us to get married'. Shit. He had nothing to say. How could he say anything? His words would ruin her like they once did before. He couldn't watch her go again. He couldn't let her go. He wouldn't lose her this time. This time was supposed to be different. But it quickly became clear to him it would end in the exact same way.

Her smile had faded as she watched him stare at her with a look she could only describe as fear and guilt. Blake gulped as water quickly filled in her eyes. Her face began to tremble as she removed her hand from his.

"Blake..." He had started to tear up now too and it was a battle to who would begin crying first. She couldn't bear to look at him. Her eyes traced the room as her body shook with fright. He was lost for words. He knew he should say something, but deep down he knew there was nothing he could say to make her stay. Nothing left inside him to keep her. Nothing to stop her slipping away. Nothing to prevent his world from falling apart.

Suddenly words came to him like a jolt of electricity. He grabbed at her arm and pulled her to face him. Tears had already stained her cheeks and she looked desperately into his eyes. Praying he'd have the words to keep her. The words that would allow her to stay there with him forever.

"I love you, Blake." She shook her head. It wasn't enough. "I'm not gonna lose you this time." His eyes were wide as he stared into hers, searching for her soul inside of them. "I love you. I love you. I love you so much. I wanna be with you, Blake!" He would put everything he had into this; he would do everything in his power to stop her walking out that door. "As long as we're together, that's all that matters!" Blake's eyes were firmly locked on her hands. She wouldn't let his words tear her away because she knew his eyes could kill her. "God, Blake. I don't have to be your husband in order to prove I love you. That I wanna be with you for the rest of my life." He emphasised.

He gently placed his hand over hers so she was now staring at his; until she looked up at him. Tears still ran down her cheeks as he watched her heartbroken face. He removed his hand from its resting place on hers and gripped them both around her neck. She was looking down but he soon altered that.

"Hey." He tried to catch her eyes in his. "Look at me." She tore her eyes away from the bed sheet to look at him. "I" He spoke slowly, softly; calmly. "Love" "You. "I love you." She diverted her eyes from his again. "Look at me, Blake." She did. "I want to be with you. I want to spend my life with you. I need you in my life because you complete me. I need you because you are the only person that can make me happy. You. Blake I need you. Please." His face trembled now too as his tears dripped down his face. "Please don't leave me again." Tears ran freely down both their cheeks as they stared into each other's eyes. She delicately put her hands on his arms and slowly tugged him away. His face shook at her action, a pool of water resting at the bottom of his eyelids.

She reached the door of his bedroom. He was sat up in the bed, eyes locked on hers.

"And I love you. But I want a marriage. I wanted that with you, but..." She struggled to finish her sentence as her words got caught in her throat. "I guess second best will have to do."

* * *

**A/N: Wow that chapter was hard to write in places. I bet you can guess where..but I hope that scene's okay. I've never written a sex scene before so it was kinda difficult and awkward, but I hope you guys like it none the less, haha. Sorry about the ending but it had to be done. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12.**

* * *

Blake lay on the cream couch staring at the fireplace in front of her. Her world felt as though it had been turned upside down. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't sleep; she knew that all she ever wanted was gone forever and she'd have to settle with the lie she had found herself wrapped up in. The pillow she was resting her head on was stained with the tear drops that consistently fell from her burning eyes. Blake had been crying for so long she felt as though she no longer had the ability to cry; as though her body had surrendered every last tear it had and she was now incapable of shedding another.

Blake's hands were gripped to the cushion, she held to it as though it was the last thing she had, the only thing that mattered to her. She had already lost the only thing that truly mattered to her and she knew it was all over now. Time to move on, once and for all. But she knew she couldn't; she knew she'd be stuck in this pit of depression for the rest of her life because she could never truly be happy. Not without him.

It was 4am and she could still here the rain pattering on the windows as it had been all night; the sound of rain usually comforted her but now the sound gripped around her neck and her breaths were constrained as all it did was remind her of earlier that night. The feel of his skin on top of hers. His hands in her hair and his sultry voice whispering that he loved her.

Penn lay in bed as he stared at the ceiling, he's cheeks covered in the remains of his tears. He had had no idea Blake was the one he wanted; but that night had clarified it for him. It was now clear she was the only thing that could make him happy. But he couldn't make her happy. He had failed her once again and his heart broke at every reminiscent moment that would run ramped in his mind; days when they were happy. Days when he felt as though his life was complete.

Water continued to flow down his face as images of her flashed in his head. Her smile. Her beautiful, glowing smile that sometimes he felt was only saved for him. Her eyes and the way they captures in his; her eyes always gave her away - they told him things that words couldn't explain. The simple I love you's that would sprawl from her lips; like the way they had tonight.

_A soft smile crept across her lips as she put her spare hand on the back of his neck. "I love you too."_

The way his hands rested gently on her cheeks had engulfed her; she could still feel them there; his thumbs rubbing against the side of her face. She lifted her hands and placed them on her own cheeks, trying to feel his hands in her own. A tear dropped from one of her eyes when she could no longer feel his hands. His warm, brown eyes watching hers and telling her he loved her. "I love you." She whimpered; her voice just below a whisper.

"I love you too." He spoke softly as he replayed her words over and over in his mind. His body began to tremble and tears erupted from his eyes and he began to pour soft sobs into the pillow next to him. The pillow she had been lying on. He could still smell her there; he could still feel her body wrapped up in his. He could almost feel her hot breath on his ear as she spoke to him.

_"You wanna know a secret?" She paused. "I need you now, Penn." _

Her words left a ringing in his ears and echoes of her voice bounced around the room. He lay there for hours, thoughts of her swimming around his mind from dusk to dawn.

* * *

Bright sunlight was peeking through the gaps in his curtains and his room was now filled with light. But the only lightness that could ever save him was gone. That light that had brought life into his dimly lit world had made it worth living. Without it, his life was encompassed in darkness reaching for an unattainable light.

He had been lying in bed all night, he had not had a wink of sleep and it was now well past 11am. He couldn't seem to get himself out of bed, it was as though his body was resisting to remove itself from the place she last was. The last place they were together. The last time his world made sense.

He twisted onto his side and delicately placed his fingers on the doorknob of the bedside table. He clasped his fingers into a fist around it and very slowly tugged it open. He knew what was inside and it was as though he wanted to feel as much pain as humanely possible. Reaching into a world that was once the best time of his life; a time he would forever wish he could go back to, but his stupidity and arrogance prevented him from returning.

The photo frame lay upside down, its back facing him. In a way he felt like it was a sign to stop now slam the drawer shut and never look back. But he didn't. He slowly placed his fingers on the back of it and gently lifted it out of its position that it had been kept in for so many years. Once he had a firm grip on the sides he carefully turned it round so the image was facing him.

He felt his heart shatter at the sight; a million pieces breaking into the depths of his stomach.

Penn's arms were wrapped around Blake's body from behind, while his lips were rested on her shoulder blade. Blake displayed a delicate smile on her face as her eyes were focused on their hands that were locked together on her stomach; Penn's fingers entwined with hers.

The picture spoke a thousand words as Penn's eyes scanned every millimetre of the image. His eyes captured every part of it as the cogs in his mind slowly churned where realisation suddenly dawned on him as his eyes crept open at his heart's discovery.

His mouth gaped open as he finally recognized he was ready for something he never knew he'd want. Something he always hoped his heart would open up to but was never assured that feeling would ever surface. But now it had he was more sure of what he wanted than he'd ever been of anything before and without hesitation he dropped the photo onto his bed as he leaped out of it and ran to the door. His legs bounded all the way down the stairs and he almost leaped to the sofa where his jacket lay; Penn grabbed it and stormed out the house.

After driving for far too long, he pulled up outside her house; he was about to get out when he noticed her car wasn't on the drive. He instantly drove off knowing where she'd be; or at least hoping.

After a 10 minute drive he arrived at a deserted alleyway on the south side of Central Park. It was concealed by bushes and trees that darkened the route. Not many people knew about this place and that's why Blake tended to go there. Penn also knew she would go there when she was upset or worried. Countless times he'd find her sat up on the bench in the gazebo; lost in her world trying to forget whatever bad things had happened to her lately. Normally she would go there after they'd had a fight; which luckily didn't happen very often. Penn would show up and hold her hands and tell her how much he loved her and eventually they would end up curled up on the bench together, just being happy they were happy again.

Penn got out the car and stepped out into the heavy rain. He slowly followed the pathway that he prayed would lead him to the greatest day of his life. A moment that would guarantee his happiness forever.

He was quickly soaked as he neared the end of the pathway, although the large trees had slightly obscured the rain from his figure. His feet reached the end of the path and he stopped in his tracks for a second, to braise himself for the moment to come. He breathed in a breath of fresh air and with that he moved his eyes up from the ground and they landed ahead.

Her body lay on the bench as her hands gripped to a large book. She was completely dry, despite being concealed from the rain of the gazebo roof; she must've got there before it had started raining. He stared at her, his eyes tracing every inch of her body as he took her in. She looked breathtaking; she always did. But she looked nothing short of perfect in this moment; this moment he'd remember forever.

He wondered how long he could watch her until she'd notice he was there but he kept his gaze; too scared to approach her knowing it could ruin his life in an instant. But it also had the ability to make him complete. And that frightened him.

He couldn't wait any longer to seal his fate so he slowly lifted his feet and made his way towards her. She was completely engrossed in her book she didn't notice him.

"Hi." He spoke softly as his figure towered over hers. Her body jumped and her eyes turned to his.

"What…what are you doing here?" She was startled, confused, scared, excited, a jumble of emotions.

"I knew you'd be here." He said sincerely as his eyes looked at her kindly.

"Well you can't be here." She swung her legs off the bench and placed them on the floor as she twisted her body so she was sitting up. "

Well…I err…" He smiled to himself. "Have something to tell you." For a second she felt her heart skip a beat but then she realised it was probably something stupid and she shouldn't get her hopes up.

"What?" She looked at him, trying to seem uninterested.

"Okay." He couldn't stop smiling which confused her a little. He knelt down on one knee and Blake gasped at his action as she threw a hand over her mouth. She could already feel her eyes clouding over as an indescribable feeling took over her.

He was nervous and stared at his feet for a few seconds before he found the courage to look into her beautiful eyes and tell her something he hoped would change both their lives forever.

"I err…I've always sort of anticipated this moment; but at this same time, feared it would never happen. Be-because I always worried this wasn't what I wanted; that I umm...I would never see that this is…not only something I want but something I need." He cleared his throat; eyes dancing around the scene ahead of him from time to time, too scared to look in her eyes. She on the other hand had her eyes on him the whole time as she listened with awaited breath.

He placed his hand on her knee and gently brushed his fingers against the material of her black jeans. He then lifted his eyes and stared into hers. "I love you. I have for a hell of a long time. Maybe not consistently but a part of my love for you has always been there because I know you're the one I'm meant to be with. You are the only one that's gonna make me happy." His eyes were watering now too as they gazed into each other's eyes. He smiled at her briefly before he continued. "I uhh…I know that strictly I can't do this…" Penn chuckled to himself. "But umm I'm gonna do it anyway." He paused as he looked back down at her knees as his fingers continued to massage her leg. He sighed to try and relax himself when he looked back up at her. Pools of water hung in the bottom of her eyelids; anticipation filled her as she watched his eyes flicker around hers.

A tear fell from his right eye and she instantly placed her hand on his cheek as she brushed it away with her thumb. He smiled at her gesture and put his spare hand on top of hers as they looked at each other. Penn smiled one last time before he opened his mouth. "Will you marry me, Blake?" His breath caught in his throat, terrified of the answer. She whimpered as a tear fell from her eye. She inhaled a deep breath as she watched his beady eyes on hers; desperate to hear words uttered from her lips.

He could feel his heart beats quicken as he watched her with eyes wide on hers. He could feel himself start to shake as he saw more and more tears fall from her eyes. She lifted her free hand from her side and began to brush the tears away; her left hand still resting on his. He would've wiped away the tears for her but his body had frozen with the inability to move a muscle.

"I umm…" She trembled. "I don't want to force you into something you don't want." She broke her hand away from his grasp and stood up so her body was well above his. He was relieved at her response because he knew she had got it wrong. This was exactly what he wanted.

He rose from his spot on the ground and clutched his hands on her arms. He looked at her, eyes searching hers. He smiled at her and tilted his head slightly as he began to speak.

"This is what I want."

"No its not." She tried to break away from his hold but be gripped harder.

"Hey." He spoke defiantly. "I want you. I want to be with you and most importantly I want to marry you." She still looked unconvinced. "Not because you want to get married, not because I know it's the only way I get to keep you. But because..." He paused for a second as he watched her frown morph into a hopeful gaze as her eyes widened a little. "I want you to be my wife. I want to watch you walk down the aisle, knowing I'm going to love you for the rest of my life. I want to tell you all the reasons I love you in front of our world at our wedding. I want you to be my wife because I want to spend the rest of my life with you as your husband."

Her eyes were glossy as she looked at him; looking into the eyes of the man she was madly in love with. A smile sprawled across her lips. He took this as a sign to continue.

"So if I can ask again?" He joked. "Will you marry me?" This time she didn't waste a second before she declared her response.

"Yes!" He loosened the grip on her arms so she could wrap her hands around his neck. They were both beaming as they gazed at each other.

"Really? I mean that's really what you want?" She asked excitedly; her head falling closer and closer to his. He slowly put his arms on her waist one by one.

"That is exactly what I want." She giggled as she pulled his face to hers. Their lips moved against each other as they smiled into the kiss. They were both so happy they didn't think they'd ever stop smiling. Her hands gripped on his grey coat as her mouth moved with his. His hands were now wrapped protectively around her back; she was his now and no one would ever change that.

They pulled away from each other and rested their foreheads together; grins still plastered on both their lips. A tear dripped from her right eye and he moved his hand to brush it off her cheek. She kissed him again but only for a second. "I love you." She spoke quietly, just loud enough for him to hear. He moved his hand back to its place on her back and gently pushed his lips forwards so they brushed against hers for a moment. He pulled his lips away and rested his head against hers again and replied. "I love you too."

They stood in each other's arms as the rain plummeted to the ground around them. The rain trapped them in a circular space; it was as if they were locked in their own little world and no one could ever break it. She ran her hands over the back of his head and through his hair as she smiled at him. A childish grin covered his lips as he watched her. They hadn't spoke for almost 5 minutes, but they didn't need to. Just being there together; in silence spoke louder than words. Every now and then their lips would gravitate towards each other and they'd share a slow passionate kiss while they wrapped their arms around each other.

"Hey umm..." He rubbed his hand up and down her back. "Do you wanna go to my car? We can go back to my place?" She shook her head.

"No. Can we-" She stroked her hand over his cheek as she spoke. "Stay here tonight?" She asked hopefully. He looked a little surprised.

"What. Here?" She nodded, all the while smiling at him. "Okay, if that's what you want."

"Thank you" She said softly as she kissed him quickly. "Have I told you I love you yet tonight?" She smiled mischievously.

"No...no you haven't" He chuckled.

"Well then, here goes. I love you, Penn." Her hand still resting on his cheek.

"Mhmm" He swayed. "I love you too."

* * *

Penn and Blake lay on the bench; legs tangled together with his arm draped around her back as his hands held onto the corners of her book. Her head rested on his shoulder and her left hand was placed tentatively on his chest. They were both giggling and pointing at the pictures in Blake's book; which turned out to be a photo book Blake had made of the two of them.

Penn turned the page and Blake laughed as she noticed a picture of the two of them on it.

"Awwww look at us!" It was taken in 2008 from their trip to Mexico. They had taken a picture of them one morning when they were eating breakfast together. Blake was stuffing a waffle into Penn's mouth while he was clearly laughing at the gesture. Penn looked down at Blake as he watched her giggle at the pictures on the page. His eyes flickered around her face as he watched her in awe.

"Don't ever leave me, okay?" She looked a little worried as she darted her head up to look at him. She rested her hand on his cheek and rubbed it gently. "I'm never going to leave you, I promise."

"Good." He replied, satisfied with her answer as he snuggled her closer to him.

* * *

They spent most of the evening cuddled up in each other's arms flicking through Blake's photo book laughing and making jokes about how young and different they looked. Dark clouds started to moved about sky and landed above them as the light from the sun had completely vanished. Stars had began to appear in the night sky and they knew it must be beyond 11 but neither of them had a care in the world. They were together and that was all that mattered to them.

Blake started to yawn as her eyes battled to stay open.

"Hey you're not falling asleep on me are you?"

"No" she said cheekily. She shivered slightly at the cold temperature that had arisen.

"You cold?" He asked as he instinctively wrapped his arms tighter around her.

"Maybe a little" She spoke, not wanting either of them to have to move.

"I'll be right back." He tried to shift from her embrace but she tugged at him firmly.

"No. Don't go." He smiled at her.

"I'll only be a second, just going to go get a blanket form the car." She reluctantly let him go and he untangled himself from her grip on him. He stood up, about to walk to the car when he stopped.

"You know as much as I'd love to sleep here tonight; it is December, Blake you know we might get pneumonia and, and...die!" Blake giggled at his exaggerations.

"We're not going to die!" She emphasised.

"No." He chuckled slightly. "But we might get pneumonia. So come on we're sleeping in the car." He grabbed at her arm and started to pull her towards him. She hesitantly got up from her seat and rose to stand next to him. He kissed her quickly as he reached to entwine her fingers with his and lead her to his car.

He opened the door for her and she clambered in. "Are you sure this is going to be comfortable?"

"Hey you're the one who doesn't wanna go back to my place." He retorted.

"I know, I know I just wanna be here with you, it's such a long drive back to your house." She sighed.

"Fair enough" He smiled as he jumped in next to her, pulling the blanket with him. "You know, if we're lucky I'll still have a cushion in the trunk." He leaned over her body to peer into the dark trunk of his car, his hands rummaged around trying to find it amongst all the clutter. "Got it!"

"Yay!" Blake clapped her hands enthusiastically. He loved that part of her; the childish, free-spirited side of her personality. It really made his life so much lighter. He laughed at her as he kissed her forehead and put the cushion behind their heads.

She waited for him to lay his head back on the cushion so she could rest her head on his chest. Blake turned so she was on her side with her left leg wrapped over his. Her left hand clutched to the bottom of his shirt as he enveloped her body with his left arm. They shifted their bodies together so they were both lying comfortably, his lips resting gently on the top of her head.

"Mmmm" she sighed contently. "Thank you" She smiled to herself.

"For what?"

"For coming back. For wanting this; us. I've only ever wanted this with you and I am so happy to be here right now, with you." Penn grinned at her as she raised her head to look into his eyes.

"I love you." He whispered as he delicately ran his fingers over her back.

"I love you too" She spoke against his lips as she kissed him for the last time before they both fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry! I've been delayed for numerous reasons and just haven't had the time or energy but I hope it was worth the wait! Might be a little bit cheesy but oh well. Why is it always raining in their scenes? I don't know really tbh, but it's winter so it always rains; that's my excuse lol. Please review, I'd love to know what you think of this chapter! I also wanna say a huge thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story so far or messaged me on tumblr, it really means a lot and I love getting reviews so thank you!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13. The last chapter.**

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Penn batted his eyelids open slowly as the dim sunlight of the hazy New York morning shone through the windows of the car. Before he was really aware of what he was doing, his eyes had landed on the beautiful figure lying next to him. Her hands sprawled across his chest and her legs wrapped up in his. His eyes explored her face, taking in everything she was.

He watched her eyelids flicker and her chest slowly rise and fall at each breath she took. His eyes lowered to her hands; where he rested his right hand on top of hers and rubbed it slightly. Following concentric circles around the back of her hand. He didn't want to wake her just yet and a lot of people would've thought any contact would wake her up; but Penn knew different. He'd quickly learnt that she was quite a deep sleeper and would take more than a touch on the hand to wake her up. He had spent 3 years waking up to her after all.

She was so breathtakingly beautiful. She literally took his breath away, he couldn't stop watching her; thinking about how he could have ever let her go. He slowly moved his head closer to hers and gently placed a kiss on her forehead. Her eyelids slowly battled open as her arms loosened from their grip on his body. She wriggled her body and groaned at the awakening as the bright sunlight burned in her direction. He still watched her with thoughtful eyes until she lifted her eyes to look into his. Blake tilted her head upwards so she was looking at him.

"Hi" She smiled as a beam crept across her lips.

"Good morning." He smiled as he brought his lips against hers. Their heads were almost touching as they looked deeply into each other's glistening eyes. She bit her lip as she pulled away and placed her hand on the seat of the car to raise herself up.

"Hey where are you going?" He questioned as he followed her actions and got up so he was sat next to her. Her hands fidgeted in her lap as she watched them cautiously; afraid to look into his eyes because she knew her words would upset him.

"I have to go see Ryan." He looked at her; almost sympathetically at the fact she thought he'd be mad about that. Instead he placed his hand on top of hers.

"It's fine. I completely understand." Her eyes flew upwards to meet his, confused yet admiring.

"Really?"

"Yes. I know you have to go tell him what's happened. It's fine, really." He spoke as he drew his head closer to hers and kissed her softly. She was bewildered by his selflessness as she watched him in awe. She raised her spare hand to his cheek.

"I love you." She paused. "You don't ever have to worry about Ryan or anybody else coming between us. Because I'm yours now. And we're going to get married." She said excitedly as she tried to hide an obvious beam that threatened to appear on her lips. Penn smirked a distorted smile as his eyes danced around her face.

"Do you wanna go see him now?" Blake moved away from his watch on her and looked down as her hands tangled in his.

"The sooner I go the sooner we can be together?" She aimed sympathetically.

"Okay. Let's go." Penn detached his fingers from hers and clambered into the front seat while untangling the blanket from their legs. She quickly hopped in the front after him.

They arrived outside Blake's house as Penn parked the car on the street outside. He looked down; surprised at how nervous he was. He didn't know why he felt this way. It wasn't as though he was scared Blake would change her mind and stay with Ryan but he just felt this aching in the pit of his stomach. Maybe because he was breaking up a marriage. Who was he to ruin a marriage? He suddenly felt a streak of guilt as he nervously tried to shake the thoughts out of his head.

"You okay?" She looked at him, concerned; sensing the fear in his face as his jaw clenched.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine." He lied, refusing to look in her eyes.

"Hey." She rested her hand on top of his and brushed her thumb over his knuckles. "I want do this. I want to be with you. Not him. I want to be _your_ wife." She emphasised "Not his."

Penn felt a weight lift from his body at her words; maybe he just needed to hear those words fall from her lips. To feel as though he was the one she'd chosen; and to be confident in what they were doing. He flipped his hand over so it was caught up in hers and looked up at her. Their eyes traced each other's faces for a few moments until Blake broke the silence that had encompassed them.

"Okay, I don't know how long I'm going to be so why don't you go back to your place and I'll come as soon as I'm done." He smiled at her softly; scared for her because he knew she was nervous. Knew this was something she didn't want to do, but had to. He watched her trying to express his understanding in the calmness of his brown eyes.

"Okay." He replied, his voice just above a whisper. Her fingers gripped on his for a second; to ensure him she was coming back. That one simple gesture to prove to him she was still his. Despite leaving him for her husband. But she was only leaving for a while; she would return to him. Her lips formed a soft, apologetic smile as she detached herself from his gaze and turned to open the car door.

She felt fear swirl around her being as she slowly slid a key into the lock on the door. Her fingers trembled and she couldn't keep her hand steady as fright engulfed her. She turned her head for a second to see if he was still there. He wasn't. The remains of the past 2 days with him had vanished. As if it had never happened. It could have so easily been a dream. It was so blissfully perfect it almost had to be a dream.

She twisted the key in the lock and pushed the door open carefully with her spare hand.

"Where the hell have you been?!" Ryan roared as he hurriedly paced towards her. Her throat tightened. She didn't regret what she had done, where she had been, who she'd been with. She didn't regret a second of it. But she did feel guilty; because regardless of his flaws and his mistakes; he has been good to her and he deserved better. He deserved someone who's heart hadn't belonged to someone else all along. She gulped.

"Sit down." She raised her hand and gestured towards the couch. Her hand still unsteady. Ryan looked at her with nothing but anger in his eyes. He knew what she was going to say, he could see it in her eyes. His heart boiled with fire as he watched her. She looked happy. No matter how dark and twisted the situation they were in; she hid a slight smile under her lips. He could see bliss plastered all over her eyes and his fists clenched at the sight. He knew she had betrayed him and he knew he'd never be able to forgive her. He knew their relationship was doomed from the second he saw the light in her eyes. The light that had been drained by his darkness. A light that could only be filled by the warmth of _his_ hands on hers. His eyes searching in hers. The feel of his body entwined with hers. He was the light of her life. Maybe Ryan wasn't the darkness, but simply incapable of making her happy, shining in her midst. Because there was only one that could do that to her. And every time her thoughts were clouded by thoughts of him she felt her heart skip a beat. A flutter in her stomach and a hidden smile sprawl across her lips.

They wet both sat on the couch. Ryan was seething underneath the blissfully unaware exterior he possessed. As if he didn't know. As if he wouldn't have guessed. Because her eyes gave it away. They always had.

"Okay, I don't really know where to start but I do know you respect honesty and you probably would rather I just told you than explain everything first, maybe I should just tell you now rather than going on. Going into details of where it all changed; frankly I don't know when it changed. Maybe it never did. Maybe I've always felt this way." Blake was a little taken back by her realisation. Ryan was too angry to speak; as though the happiness in her voice made him sick with an inability to open his lips and even pretend he cared. It's not like she deserved it. "I'm so sorry, Ryan. This has nothing to do with you or how you've been this...this is all me. I-" she paused as she felt her eyes gloss over as she dipped her head to watch her hands rub her arms loosely.

"How dare you?" He blurted out unsure how his demeanour had changed so abruptly.

"What?" She trembled; guilt embracing her in the blink of an eye.

"Was it with him?" As if she should know who 'him' was. But of course she knew, it was blatantly obvious. The 'him' who had loomed over their relationship ever since the beginning. The 'him' Ryan feared he would never be as good as. Apparently he wasn't.

"Ryan..." Blake attempted to reason with him, to apologise for her lack of restraint. But she knew she couldn't restrain. How is it possible to ignore the one you love? To not want to be with them because that was all Blake wanted; all she had wanted for a long time. Maybe ever since they broke up. Maybe she was only just realising that now.

"I can't believe you." Ryan jolted from his seat and rose above her fragile figure. She slowly lifted her timid body up to face him.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say."

"There's nothing you can say." Ryan flared. "I can't believe you would cheat on me. And with him!" Ryan looked disgusted at the thought. He had always hated Penn. Blake just wanted to scream at him for being so hateful to the man she loved but she knew she had no right. Blake's eyes rested on the floor, unable to look at his eyes; burning with fury. But she was still a little confused at how he had worked out what had happened without her really having to say anything. Was he so untrusting that he jumped to conclusions instantly?

"How...how did you know?" She attempted to distil his anger if only for a moment. Ryan looked up at her eyes. Yup, he could still see it. That layer of happiness that was almost guarded fully by the guilt displayed at the front. But he could see behind all that; the distain, the pain, the remorse. "I can see it in your eyes." He spoke, his tone suddenly much calmer than before. Blake's eyes widened at his confession; perplexed at how he had the ability to see her so clearly. "I can see that you're happy. You look, you look happier than I've ever seen you." He was no longer shouting, fury erupting inside him. Simply a figure that seemed to suppress no emotion, if only that were true. Blake hated the fact his last words made her smile. She tried to hide it but it seeped through her lips; threatening to overcome her. He was right. She'd never been this happy with Ryan. Only with Penn. She stepped closer towards him, treading on dangerous grounds.

"I'm sorry." She spoke. Her eyes wide and her eyebrows had burrowed into an apologetic position. She really meant it. She did. Because despite how much she loved Penn; Ryan didn't deserve this. And she truly did feel guilty. Ryan's blank expression stared back at her; seemingly uncaring and oblivious. But she knew better. She knew he was upset and she was truly sorry for that.

"Just not sorry enough." Ryan declared.

And with that Blake turned her back to leave. Leaving behind a world that she once thought was best for her; one that would give her everything she wanted. How wrong she was.

Blake left his house, their house; quietly, cautiously escaping the life that was no longer hers. She hopped in her car and drove off; she had to get away from there as soon as possible. She knew it was a long drive back to Penn's house but despite the fact she was desperate to see him; she knew the time alone would be good for her; she needed a moment to think. She needed to process the past few days, weeks even, and really understand where she was and what she was doing with her life.

Her thoughts rushed into her mind like a hurricane and at times there were too many to comprehend but after driving for 30 or so minutes her thoughts had settled and she felt much more at peace. More relaxed. She felt happy and relieved as a feeling of contentment washed over her. She hadn't felt this peaceful in a while; maybe it helped by the quiet streets mixed with the beautiful surroundings that encircled her. The light snow that fell onto the city streets and the sight of smiles on the children's faces as they watched each snowflake fall.

Before long she had arrived outside Penn's house; she had been driving for well over 40 minutes but it was as though she had been dreaming the entire time, lost in a world of her own; unaware of anything and everything else going on. Her mind distracted by so many thoughts and memories that time had passed her by in an instant. It was almost as though if she blinked, she'd miss it.

But this moment, she didn't want to miss. She knew she wouldn't. This was going to be one of the happiest moments of her life. What was waiting for her on the other side of that door was the rest of her life. The door held the key to her future and once it was open there was no turning back. Not that she'd ever want to. This was exactly where she wanted to be; in fact she had been beaming ever since she had left the car; her hand now resting on the door frame; awaiting her future to gobble her whole.

The door swung open and she instantly grabbed his face in her hands as she leaped closer to him and kissed him like she never had before. His arms instantaneously wrapped around her body, holding her as close to him as humanly possible. They shared a passionate kiss and it felt as though time had stood still, like the room was empty and they were the only two entities left in the world. She slowly removed her lips from his and giggled as she watched his eyes slowly peer open.

"Can I come in?" She joked. His mouth instantly formed into a beam as he started laughing. All the while she was watching him smile. She loved his smile.

She slowly slipped her hands to the back of his neck and began brushing her fingers against the waves of his hair. She could watch him forever but right now she just wanted to be with him so she pulled his head closer to hers and began kissing him again; this time with more force and urgency. Their mouths were wrapped together as their tongues battled against each other. Penn pulled away slowly opening his eyes to look at her. Her lips were slightly swollen and stuck towards his wanting to kiss him again.

He took a breath before he spoke; "are you sure you don't wanna talk first?" Without any thought at all she shook her head and gripped at his neck harder and pulled him back towards her. They continued kissing for several minutes; arms wrapped around each other's warm bodies while their tongues were snaked together in their mouths.

They broke the kiss and gazed deeply into each other's eyes; their eyes spoke a language that no one else could understand. He slowly bent down and draped his arms over the backs of her legs and swiftly lifted her up so he was carrying her; the way people did after they got married. She locked her arms tightly around his neck as he carried her up the stairs to his bedroom.

Penn lay on top of Blake's body; his elbows holding him up, his head positioned just above hers with their noses only centimetres apart. Her hands rested on his lower back with his legs entangled in hers.

"So this is it, right?" Blake asked with eyebrows raised as her eyes searched his. "We're back together?" He raised his arm so he could envelope his hand around her neck, his fingers locking in her hair.

"Not only are we back together, but we're going to get married. You're going to be my wife, Blake." His words stunned her as she felt a wave of emotion wash over her stomach. She could feel salty tears begin to emerge in the corner of her blue eyes. She raised her head a little so she could place a soft kiss on his cheek.

"I can't wait!" She beamed at him as he smiled in return. He thought it was the biggest smile he had ever seen and he knew he'd spent the rest of his life making sure that smile never faded. The warmth and the love in her eyes would never disappear and that she would always, always know how much he loved her. He would remind her of that every day until the day he died. Because this was it for them. They were getting married and he already knew it was going to be the greatest day of his life.

"I promise to love you until the day I die." He vowed to her, feeling an urge to express his love for her. A small tear drooped down her cheek and his brushed it off with the pad of his thumb.

"So will I. I love you more than anything in this entire world, and as long as I'm with you I will always be the happiest I can be. I love you, Penn Badgley." He chuckled slightly, his hand still resting on her cheek.

"And I love you, Blake Lively." He mocked in response. She shook her head from side to side.

"No. Blake Badgley." He rubbed her cheek slowly and then wrapped his hand back around her neck and tantalisingly slowly brought her face to his. Their lips brushed against each other gently, but only for a second until he pulled his lips away from hers and looked into her eyes; making sure she knew exactly how happy he was. Her lips formed a soft smile as her eyes widened open to gaze into his chocolaty brown eyes, the eyes she would so often get lost in; the eyes that had always had the ability to make her feel so undeniably loved. She laid her hand on the back of his neck tentatively as she felt him gravitate further towards her again. They both opened their lips as their mouths met and they moved their lips against each other's. The kiss got more forceful as they found their mouths battling together as their tongues entwined together; both moaning against each other's lips. He broke away as he bit her lip. "You sure you want to cheat on Ryan again?" He smirked. She ran her hands over the collar of his shirt, pulling it away from his skin. "Only with you." She smiled seductively at him and pulled him back to her by the top of his shirt. Soon their hands were all over each other as his tongue explored her mouth.

They both felt feelings of pleasure mix between their bodies as they relished in being so close and being able to just be together again was such an incredible feeling. Knowing they'd be spending the rest of their lives together was enough to cause waves of passion and wildness to wash over them both. Blake's hand slowly drifted away from his bare back with his muscles flexing in her hands as it fell to the side of the mattress. Penn untangled his right hand from her blonde locks and floated towards her open palm. The moment their fingers touched they wrapped them together so their hands were locked as one. Penn raised their interlaced hands above Blake's head as they continued to kiss on the bed.

Blake thought about all those days she spent watching him in the hospital, wondering if she'd ever see the light of his piercing brown eyes again. Praying that one day he would wake up.

She had no idea that Penn's accident had been such a blessing. Thinking about it now she realised without it she may still be with Ryan and who knows, maybe they wouldn't have ended up together that way. It was funny how things worked out; it made her question all the things that confused her as a younger woman; destiny, the stars, fate.

Maybe they were supposed to be together and all it took was a little waiting and a lot of heartache; but in the end they made it. Maybe fate really had brought them back together she thought as she smiled against his lips.

"I'm so happy I'm with you" she mumbled in between kisses. He just continued to kiss her as he nodded his head in response.

Fate. That was what she called it. It may have worked in a mysterious and painful way but it had brought them back together and so she would always be thankful for that; regardless how they got there.

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**A/N: And that's it folks. It's all over. I have really, really loved writing this story and especially since it's my first ever it'll always mean a lot to me. I really hope you guys have enjoyed it and I am so, so thankful for all of your reviews; they really do mean a lot. I will be writing again I'm sure of it and I'm sorry I've been so bad at updating lately but exams and revising has now basically taken over my life; but they'll be over in a month and then I'll have all the time in the world to write. I have an idea for my next chapter which will be a lot longer than this one I'm sure. But I doubt that'll be up for another month, I really should take a break while I'm doing my exams. Anyway thank you all so much and I'd love to hear what you thought of the whole story. Thank you! (Let's hope this happens in real life, huh? Maybe they do belong together we just have to wait.)**


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